19 November 2008

Since I am so good at shamelessly plugging websites I though I would mention a new website I have set up called My Vegan Planet.

This site is as the name suggests a vegan website that provides an ever increasing number of healthy vegan recipes from different locations around the world.

Now I know I have slated vegetarians and vegans in the past, but now I am going out with one so if I did not agree with them I would get a slap so I am now more understanding to their reasoning. Besides, my girlfriend isn’t one of those namby pamby idiotic vegans, but rather one who does it for dietary reasons.

As it so happens my girlfriend is infact the author of this site, since she is a professional chef and has spent a lot of time working in raw food and vegan kitchens, giving her a great insight into vegan recipes and some fantastic tips for people new to the vegan world.

So take a look at My Vegan Planet now and Digg, Stumble, add to Technorati faves and advertise on your blogs please so I can become a successful millionaire off the backs of the greenies to help me start promoting the worthy vegan dietary cause!

14 November 2008

Mhhhh Argos

If you are looking for any Christmas gifts take a look at Argos


Support the site and get free delivery if you use our special promo code AFD10 on orders over £75!

13 November 2008

C2C Making Travel SImpler - You Have to Laugh

Just been looking for train tickets to London and came across this...

Can't help but laugh.

10 November 2008

Michael Crichton Died Age 66

I was sad to learn today that one of my all time favorite writers Michael Crichton passed away today aged 66. The writer, famous for films as diverse as Jurassic Park and Andromeda strain succumbed to cancer last week.

My heartfelt condolences go out to the families and hope that some solice lays in the fact that his work will continue to entertain hundreds of thousands around the world for decades to come. A feat achieved by few other people, let alone authors.

His work always cast a skeptical yet raelistic glance against both Technology and fantacism, with a huge amount of abuse coming from gobal warming enthusiasts after he used his analytical brain to argue his case as he did with matters of technology.

It is a sad day for the fiction community and I can only but hope that a writer of such intelligence arises again during my lifetime.

04 November 2008



We chuckle as another student slips over in the spilt beer.


We laugh as a young girl with poor high heel walking abilities goes flying before landing heavily.

"Booooo" we shout as the bar staff put a wet floor sign over the puddle.

It's the simple things in life.

26 October 2008

One of those erm, what was'its Updates!

Life has been busy over the last few weeks, the rock and roll lifestyle of the blogger is beyond bounds. Today however is the last day of a lazy Sunday, so I thought I would have another bash at writing a post.

I thought I would however make a quick statment about Russel Brand.

Russel Brand is a Twat.

I am not sure what it is thats so annoying about him, be it his complete lack of humour, annoying as fuck personality.

After redeeming himself slightly in the film Forgetting Sarah Marshall he recently pulled a prank phonecall on the old faulty towers star Manuel regarding his 23 year old daughter.

Now I am a man with pretty broad taste, but making llewd prank phone calls to a 78 year old man puts me in mind of someone who picks on the weak, infact it doesn't take much watching of Russel Brands shows to show that he regularly picks on the weak for the content of what can only be technically called humour.

10 October 2008


Things have yet again became quiet aroud here as I took over 2 jobs for a couple of weeks, it left we a little knakered but fortunately i had the accidental foresight to book next week off, this should give me chance to catch up, get my affairs in order and start posting properly again.

I am working pretty hard to get my own business underway at the moment, curerntly bringing in a regular $350 a month. In the near future I am looking to expand that to around $4000, quit my job and relax a lot more :p

In the interim however I will keep my job on the go and focus on my work outside of the ol' office hours!

I have however been interested in the current governments throw money at everything approach.

Instead of say, reducing taxes and fuel duty, simplifying taxation rules to cut abck on red tape and allow businesses to grow again we instead seem to be throwing billions of pounds that has appeared from nowhere in a futile attempt to save the economy.

In my eyes though this not only simply stalls the problem but severely amplifies it, what happens when the £500 billion runs out, throw 1000 billion pounds at the economy instead?

The market needs to crash, everything has become too expensive, it will crah, normalise and grow again, its what the market does.

With our current idiotic financially incompetent ministers in charge though Australia is looking evermore attractive.

22 September 2008

The new facebook has turned me off what was once a great networking tool, it put me in touch with a lot of old friends, it got me talking to some new people interested in similar music and it let me beat my friends at scrabble time and time again.

Now however there is 'new' facebook. As with many 'new' products it is an overcomplicated, messy and un-intuitive design. If 'old' facebook had been 'new' facebook you can guarentee it would not have taken off.

I would boycott faceebook if it was not for the fact that my entire bloody social calender, contacts and pictures are all now managed by that bloody website.

11 September 2008


It has become apparent yet again that my body requires alcohol to function, I am on my fifth day alcohol free and I am tired. Very Tired.

If I was in a sleeping competition I'ld sleep in and miss it. I'm so tired I can't think of an original joke, infact I am so tired that a hot Finnish girl came to our house and though I really want to try it on with her I really can't be arsed.

I think mostly it is because I am still going to the puib, and being sober.

I sit there and talk, but only drink coke or water.


Bugger it anyway, at least it's helping my bank balance!

In other news I hired my first long term writer last night!

Business is looking up, wohooo, really want to turn my side job into a full time thing, would make my life so much better!

05 September 2008

Why I couldn't Give a Shit About the US Presidential Elections

The world media has been in a frenzy over the upcoming presidential elections in the US. And with good reason. The person holding the presidency will be in charge of one of the worlds largest military and economic powers.

So why don't I give a shit who wins the US Elections 08?

Because, lets face it, it doesn't really change anything.

All the candidates are chosen for the show they put on, not for any real life experience, their policies tend to focus on publicised politics, not things that matter and they tend to get voted in on the number of points they score in rebuttals during debate.

The actual running of the country is done not by the people who sit in office but the people who have worked in politics for years, behind the scenes. Lets be honest, they are making a bit of a hash of it all.

And to the rest of the world it does not matter who is voted in, simply because America will always do whatever seems best to its undercover decision makers at the time, with no consideration for world politics or agendas.

The posts appearing on here are, I warn you, going to become more depressive, on Monday I am giving up the booze for a month or two!

21 August 2008

Back From Abroad

So I just about survived my holidays with only the minorest of head injuries, sans wallet, phone and camera, and much much lighter in the bank account department.

I did however have a fantastic time, still love Barcelona (Where the mugging happened) have fallen head over heels for Munich, a city where drunken conversation the previous night was the target of a last minute holiday in mid September, only sobriety plus a heavy, heavy overdraft disuaded me from what would have otherwise been an amazing holiday!

In my absense though a lot of things have happened, most noteably our local has now allowed drinking outside, we have an incredibly hot bar girl working (Unfortunately only temporarily) there.


David Becham had his penis photoshoped on a 100 foot armani poster

The United Kingdom is doing surprisingly well in the Olympics, seriously annoying the Aussies who are a place and several medals behind us. Their polititions have now declared an olympic vendetta against the English, not exactly true to the aim of bringing nations closer together, but goddamn I love the Aussie attitude to life!

Britain has entered a recession, aparently, we all knew this anyway but now the government has decided its too obvious to blatently lie about it.

Gordon Brown is still a Cock. You heard me. Cock.

Big Brother is apparently on, some things have happened, I haven't watched any of it, and would sooner beat myself to death with a rabid lemming than switch it on.

Russian and American tensions are rising because Russia stepped into Georgia to prevent teh Mass genocide of its citizens.

America has continued to prevent mass genocide in several countries by bombing the hell out of its civilians, police, army, teh british army and occasionally a terrorist.

The new York city conucil offices, condemend since the beginning of their design have been scrapped, thank god.

Unfortunately this hair brained scheme has so far cost the tax payer £5 million (Thats $10 million to you yanks) Considering this included engineering, construction, furnishing and similar costs when all we actualy got was a drawing or two the York residents are severely worrieda s to how we spent so much.

A plane crashed ont eh runway in Madrid, reasons are unknown but it all looks a bit fishy, plane not included as part of a recal etc, my condolences go out to the families. It went in for repair due to a mechanical fault before take off, i really wouldn't want to be the engineer who did that right now. 150+ deaths, many of them children, in one day is a lot to hold over someone.

A-levels are not getting easier say the colleges, this is interesting to note as the record english results co-incide with a record rate of illiteracy in the UK.

Gary Glitter is out of prison and trying to avoid the UK where he is expected to be castrated by an angry mob on arrival.

My electricity and water bills have shot up, apparently this is due to inflation and rising costs, which goes little way towards explaining why these companies are still posting record profits. Bastards.

24 July 2008


Au Revoir!

I will be going on holiday this saturday for two and a half weeks, covering everywhere from la Rochelle and barcelona over to Munich

The trip will be done inaBMW taken off eBay for £409.

Wish me luck!

I will be writing up a log of the events occuring on the trip on http://explorationtofreedom.blogspot.com


15 July 2008

You Gotta Love the Aussies


A man convicted of his 7th drink driving offence over five years after splitting up with his missus was spending nearly £500 a week on beer, surprisingly the judge didn’t pass a jail sentence but instead simply banned him from drinking or holding beer for 12 months. The best part of this entire thing was though that when he sentenced the judge said ''(That is) poor judgement on two counts there -- drinking that much and drinking Melbourne Bitter,''

While this comment was founded over the Aussies support of their beer rivalling that of their support for their various teams it is refreshing to see that not all countries have become so legally wound up in red tape as the British systems.

30 June 2008

Bit o' a Quiet Spot

As you may have noticed things have been a bit quiet around here recently, what with the women the booze and a desperate attempt to start working for myself I have been a little busy over teh last few months.

I have begun to note however that there is a world outside my three preoccupations and these include,

Inflation has buggered our country.

Americans really need to bring in some common sense when voting for presidents.

Come to that the english need to show more common sense when voting for Prime ministers, but at least we are too small to start any significant wars.

The people who run our country seem to think that the best way to curb inflation is to advise businesses to cut our wages, while in the meantime increasing taxes on every single fucking thing, not to mention bringing in stupid fucking lawas that have multiplied the costs of everything from fuel to food.

Pat Sharpe cut his mullet off - a sad day for us all.

Australia may pay me several thousand pounds to move over there if I train as an electrician or a plumber, my view on this is electricity may kill me but plumbing may require me to wade around in shit for the rest of my life... I think you can see where my decisions may be moving towards here.

The global warming nuts have realised that the carbon footprint debate on global warming does not actually have any factual evidence, for this reason expect a sudden increase ni news regarding methane as being the new global warming hot topic. People who discuss this seriously will give you dirty looks if you mention that the Earths relative position to the sun may be the cause of the current temprature fluctuations, especially if you bring this up at a scientific debate on global warming - apparently scientific debate can no longer include anyone who is against the crackpot theory.

North Korea blew up their plutonium creation plant, this is a great step forward in rumoving North Noreas ability to build cheap sustainable power and recover economically, allowing the US to maintain its doctatorial control over what they can and cannot so.

Germany apparently forgot how to play football, Spanish players forgot how to stay upright when tackled.

The above left my bank account £!0 lighter.

7 Rounds of sambucca is probably a mistake when attempting to stay sober and conserve money.

26 June 2008

TV Licence Refund

Every year I pay around £140 for my TV Licence, this is basically an extra tax on the country since lets face it, nearly everyone has a colour TV nowdays.

But this isn't what upset me quiet so much, last night I was watching the Germany Turkey game, several times, once when there was a goal, the TV service died to be replaced by Radio 5 Live.

Now I was in the pub watching this, hardly ever watch TV at home, but if I have paid for this service and the BBC do not provide it should I not infact get a refund for that day?

A man can dream.

21 June 2008

She has gone

To another country.

Wish she hadn't, but wish her the best in her future.

20 June 2008

Conversing with a 'Yank'

So I talked to the american aquiantance over dinner.

"Yeah I really want to go to America, it would be amazing"

He replied, "yeah man seriously visit New York its beautiful!"

He seemed A little bit offended when I said

"And the food, seriously from what i've heard you guys get so much food on your plate in America!"

I noticed a rather significant drop in temprature around me.

"So yeah anyway, where are you from?"

"From the state o' LA he says, a smile on his face"

I looked a little blankly for a second before realisation dawned, "I didn't think Los Angeles was a state, I thought it was in Nevada!"

I get another long blank stare, I shiver a little and search for my jacket before he mentions "Louisiana, LA stands for Louisiana, and Los Angeles is in California"

"ohohoh I was thinking of Las Vegas" I say, building a slight bridge over my lack of American knowledge, reading Micheal Crichtons Andromeda Strain the other night apparently paid off.

I don't think he forgave me.

Next month I will be navigating again on a road trip around Europe.

17 June 2008

French Kisses

When I was much younger I went through the same stage as most kids, this basically involved finding a member of the opposite sex and going for the deep kiss. It wasn't big, it wasn't clever and it probably stopped me from getting any further on occasion.

This kind of kissing I grew out of, leaving it behind as French Kissing.

On Saturday me and the French girl got together (not that far I am afraid) and she gave me my first ever proper french kiss.

Bloody hell it was good!

Unfortunately the french girl leaves for France again in a few days, I will miss her and hopefully see her once more before she goes.

I will be visiting her in July along with my flat mate as we start on our 2 week road trip around europe for 2008, can't wait!

Travelling is my one true passion, if I bump into this girl on the way it will only be that mmuch sweeter :)

11 June 2008

Drinking, Working and (Wanting to) Live the Dream

A few weeks ago I covered software and asset management for my company, kinda tired me out but had a week off afterwards.

Problem was the monday of my holiday I went to a house party and around 5am a mate managed to pass out holing his breath trying to get rid of hiccups. He managed to crack his skull on the stairs so I had to take him to A&E, didnt get home till around 8am. That put me out of sync for the entire week buggered up my sleep pattern!

Back at work now and the first Monday was trying, I was absolutely knakerecd, work load was shocking but strangely enough only for the first day, after I got it sorted it has been dead quiet.

On the other hand though some of my side projects are starting to pay off, I have started to see some payoff. Gonna work a bit harder and see if I can get a reputable business going but it is taking time, working from around 6 till 10 most nights, with a quick nightcap in the pub. Sometimes I find myself working till 1-2am and wonder how the time went. But it will hoppefully be worth it.

03 June 2008


So I have had a week off work, and so far it has not gone too well.

I finally got up the courage to ask the French girl out. She is absolutely amazing and has had me entranced since I met her, unfortunately I got the 'just friends' bullet. It's a shame because we get on great, have a laugh together and she really is so goddamn beautiful!

Second day off work I did not get home till 7:30 am, noramlly this would be a good thing, however in this case it was more down to sitting for a few hours in the A&E department while a friend had the skin on his head glued back together.

Though I did not see it happen apparently he banged his head on the steps while trying to get rid of hiccups - it didnt work.

27 May 2008

A Quick Rebrief

I posted something last night that I had to remove over a slight worry that the person it was aimed at may know about this blog.

Needless to say one of the points was on my marital status. I am 100% single again, the girl who I got back with is a great girl, but there is simply no spark there.

In other news I stubbed my toe last night on my weights, it didnt stop bleeding for three hours and now im limping like a crack addict.

23 May 2008

Football, Fags and Fights

Pretty much covers the last week, A couple of smokes covered a particularly stressful period that covered a Leeds game and Brokering a deal which has given me £120 a year for a minimum of 5 years (2 hours negotiation, 5 minutes of work required)

The football was a bloody nail biter, a last minute goal saved us from probable failure, and Leeds fate will be decided this sunday.

I also felt for the Chelsea fans as John Terry made a fatal slip, leaving Man U free to win the Champions League Final on Sudden Death Penalties.

Later on that night I got jumped by a 50 year old geezer, fortunately I held him off without punches, had to do this because
A) It's a bar where I occasionally work, so I can't really go around twatting people
b) Because I have just got off crutches and really don't want to get in a fully fledged fight while my legs have only just got used to supporting me
c) I would have felt quite guilt punching a bloke as old as him, seriously it would be like beating up my dad.

There was also a vague d) I was so drunk I could hardly see straight confusing my decision making abilities.

This did quite worry me though. Not that long ago I would have knocked him to the ground without a thought, have I picked up morales from living in York, a fairly quite city. Or was it because I really am that unsure about my ability to stand up on my still weak legs.

Either way I might have to increase my gym visits to get some lower body strength back, holding off the more seasoned man was not exactly a difficult feat, but if I got into more serious trouble I would be in even more serious trouble if I found myself holding back my punches.

I am currently seeing this girl I met in a bar a while back, she iscute, I like who she is, but it just doesn't feel right.

Jesus Christ I'm becoming a metrosexual... If you need further proof look at how I just swore with 'Jesus Christ' rather than 'Fuckin 'ell'.

18 May 2008

Sunday Blues

I think on some occasions Sundays are even worse than Mondays.

If you cant find anything to do you sit there, bored, and becoming increasingly aware that tomorrow you will be working and that you should possibly be doing something.

I don't think there is anything on gods green earth as mind numbingly boring as Sunday afternoons with the possible exception of Big Brother, Which is a lot of people who have personality disorders set in the location of a perpetual Sunday afternoon.

Big Brother is not only as heavily boring as a Sunday afternoon but also intensely annoying, rather like incredibly bad tooth ache.

In other news me and the Girlfriend are officially back together, though I'm not sure how long for. She is really nice and I do like her but sometimes it just doesn't feel like a relationship. No it is not Aussie girl by the way, that is long dead and buried.

However, I was thinking of getting an electricians/Carpenters qualification, doing a few years work over here and emigrating to New Zealand or Australia. I do think that it might just be a bad idea though as my natural 'couldn't give a shit' attitude may just win me the Darwin award as I step onto a poisonous shell like creature, jump backwards into a poisonous spiders web, flail around and get my leg bitten off by a crocodile (Ironically saving me from the poison) before falling into a watering hole and being savaged by a duck billed platypus.

Maybe I'll just move to Melbourne, the worst that could happen tome there is getting run over by Harold Bishop.

Anyhow, back to procrastinating.

14 May 2008


So after a lot of drinks at a double birthday for some bouncers (Twins) I got back with an ex.

Yes I know that is complete betrayal of my self esteem.

Yes I know it will probably end badly.

But on the plus hand she has an amazingly cute smile.

The downside is that prior to this i went through a state of bacholourism. This means that my room is littered with empty polistyrene containers, pizza boxes and the like, not to mention clothes scattered here there and everywhere.

So at somepoint, with sex being on the upcoming agenda, I need to tidy things up. This in itself is a feat measurable to that of reaching peace in Iraq, and has the opportunity fror more casualties.

Needless to say I need to get this cleared up asap.

But I. just. cant. be. arsed.

13 May 2008

Downloading Movies

I am not particularly criminal like but a few years back I may have downloaded the odd film from the internet ‘sans’ payment. After all they were easily accessible, fast and free to get!

Unfortunately now days things have changed, the film companies are cracking down and all my old methods of downloading have become unreliable, slow and virus ridden. Any attempt usually leaves you with either the wrong film or a horrendously poor quality film.

I spent a fair few hours looking around last night and was surprised to find that there are now several cheap legal and quick services to download full DVD Movies available, hell I just got Batman Begins, a film I always wanted to see for $1.99 that’s around a £1 to us Brits!

The best one I found was http://www.myvideolib.com/ This site is bloody brilliant, I am downloading full length DivX Movies like Superbad at the moment which cost me a mere $2.99, not bad for one of the funniest movies I saw last year!

It’s nice to see that the film companies have finally cottoned on that by releasing films at a much lower cost they can actually sell a LOT more of them!

The fact of the matter is I don’t mind paying a couple of quid for a film, paying £20 ($40) is what I object to! Fortunately there are some good sites to legally download full length movies which are a godsend, cheap good quality films at a price that doesn’t leave my wallet empty!


I went to sit by the river for my dinner today, the benches were full of old ladies and tourists, those that didn't have a bench hovered expectantly around one until it became available.

So governed by the laws of laziness I opted out of mad dashes for bench space and sat on the riverbank, a cobbled edge sloping down to a lower platform that runs by the river.

The sun was shining, the ladies walking by were particularly fine and I munched away feeling good about the world.

It was only when I got back to my desk at work when I noticed the unmistakable smell of river. Its not a horrendous smell. Its not a pleasant smell, its not even a powerful smell. It is just that smell that seems to pervade everywhere around you, giving the area around you that slight classic leaf mould smell that has never successfully sold as a fragrance for a reason.

Needless to say it seems that one of the rivers more recent floods must have coated the bank with a good ol' layer of river dirt that seeped into my trousers.

Bloody Brilliant...

07 May 2008

Let the Sun Shine!

It seems like summer has finally arrived I thought.

As I donned my short sleeved shirt and went to eat my lunch down by the river, letting the sun radiate over my body and the breeze cool my skin.

Yet it was not the sun nor the shirt that signified the start of summer. It was the women.

Despite all probability there seems to be a type of woman who only appears during summer. When the weather is poor I think they migrate to warmer climates on tehir Daddy's credit card, however when the weather in good ol' Britain is good tehy come out in droves.

If you do not know what I am talking about you are either female or a gay.

As I sat by the river I saw stunner after stunner walk by my bench. All of them significantly out of my league and most definately out of my price range.

This revelatino came after a weekend of relaxation, I did nothing. For several MOnths now I have been working incredibly hard and so far it has netted me a regular £2 a day. Doesn't seem like much but it equals a pint a day for the rest of my life pretty much!

So three days of chilling out in the sunshine, playing on the PS2 for the first time in ages, or just watching a few films (Back to the future, I forgot how good the first and third film was, the second may only seem so shite because from the perspective of when the film was made this is the future!)

To be honest I needed the break and it put things back into perspective. I am working at getting my life in order so I dont have to work, or at least dont have to work for 11 months of the year.

I have started looking at my trip around Europe this year, mid summer this time around so it will be HOT, but the snu is calling, the beaches are bein washed by a heated sea and my mind is drifting to the adventures of last year.

I wil update soon on the plan!

02 May 2008

Bank Holiday!!!!

Wohooo, its that time again, three days of pure weekend, the weather is good and my mates are playing a gig, so sun music and secx is on the cards, well, maybe not the sex, been dry now for nearly two weeks :(

My lucky bastard of a flat mate met this canadian bird while he was over for a stag do where he discovered his exebitionist side by having a bit of the ol ruff an' tumble in the dorm, then the guy who has the fortuitous luck to do very little work for mucho money has gone off to see her again and they have been sexing along France, Switzeralnd and Munich.

Again - Lucky Bastard.

Ahh well for now I shall situate myself in a beer garden somewhere and get some good ol' relaxation going!

25 April 2008

Another Update - Drinking and Scientology

I had a business sponsored drinking session a couple of Fridays back, this involved a huge amount of alcohol and me leaving to meet this girl at around 1am.

She never wants to talk to me again

I can't remember why.


The good thinkg about being an office worker is that there are occasional perks.

I have taken over a technology blog called GeekyWood It's a pretty god blog and I hope to improve it over the next few months with a load of the newest gadgets.

In other news the scientologists seem to have hit it big in the news again by a family who have left the cult. They bring out takes of abuse and intimidation that I think really do personify the cult as the money grabbing brainwashing bully it really is. The fact that Tom Cruise is such a big fan shows that yes, this is a Cult that goes for stupid rich people then bleeds them dry.

The Worst part about this is that they have Tax Free Religious status in the USA, I seriously do not know how the American people have allowed what is in the end nothing but a Multi Level Marketing Campaign where only the top bod collects to become a tax free institute.

In all fairness I am tempted to set up my own religion, send me £10 a month and you too shall receive eternal redumption in my heaven, which is significantly better than the christian heaven which is just plain boring, and marginally better than the Muslim one because the ladies in our heaven wern't so damned ugly that thay never had sex.

16 April 2008


I feel like I have been slacking a bit on this blog recently, and I dont think that is going to end anytime soon i'm afraid!

Quick update on my life

- I am working way too much
- I seem to have lost the ability for sleep untill 3am, my mind just keeps going on about whatI could be writing
- I am now ITIL certified
- A cannot remember friday or saturday after a rather horrific amount of alcohol was consumed
- I have realised that to learn songs on keyboard im going to have to lewarn to read sheet music. Bugger.
- I have remembered why I liked playing the field so much, it would have been one more but I vaguely remember making a tit out of myself around a prospective on said friday night.

09 April 2008


As some of you may or may not know I turneed my side job as a freelance writer into a personal career move to write for my own websites. This has proved... Tiring.

I have one website now on course for my £2 a day target that I want all my websites to reach, thats one down and 19 to go till I can quit my day job and take the writing up full time in an attempt to make some very decent money out of this as well.

Tonight however I suffered from something thtat is a rarity for me.. Writers block. I had all the information I needed, i reread the subject and then sat down to write. Nothing came out at all. For nearly 6 hours I have been sat here, unable to write about a subjeect I familiarised myself with.

It may be because I am just absolutely knakered, infact I really hope it is. If this turned into a long term problem it really would scupper my plans of leaving the working world behind and travelling the world.

Fortunately I am pretty certain it is temporary, my words seem to be flowing well enough now I am not thinking too hard about it. Maybe a week or two break is in order, since 18 hour working days are probably not the best thing for anyone!

02 April 2008


The Aussie Ex is now on a plane back to Australia to see her mother.

All my best wishes go out to her at this time.

01 April 2008

I wish it had been an Aprils Fool.

Several months ago I was seeing an Australian girl in York. Yesterday her mother had a stroke. Today they decided to pull the plug on the life support machine.

Her mother is in Australia, she is in England. If anyone has a spare ticket or two for her and/or her sister to urgently go and see her mother before she slips away completely please contact me asap, on oli4uk@gmail.com or oh seven eighhht fawe ohh tree seve two 2 fi\/e noine. (Just to stop the spam bots) Yes, I have just given my mobile number out to the random people reading my blog, it is in my view that important.

Just to let you know, while we have split up and I tried to make myself hate her there is no way I would not support her during this time. She is a fantastic girl, and her mother was amazing (She had severe tunnel vision, was legaly blind and still took my ex around Europe). Neither of them deserved this but I wish that I could have helped with more than a hug and an 'It'l be ok', I think the fact that she can no longer go upto her mother one last time, just say her last farewells, is the thing that is hurting her the most.

If anyone can help, please do so, it will be in complete confidence and I will put you in touch with the girl directly if you have any reasoning to suspect that this is a scam.

How the Matrix Really Ended

This is how the matrix REALLY ended!

Crocodile Dundee is a god,I mean come on he took down Neo!

27 March 2008

I'm a Pundit

Due to google giving up on this site, removing the main page from its listings and so forth I am going to leave this blog for purely personal topics.

I have created a topical news blog at I'm a Pundit

An Msn Conversation I Just Had

Heathery says:
Haha, 'dear blog, today reveals the horrifying truth that a girl in a far away land wasted away infront of her computer screen after having showed her a picture of my man area*'

Heathery says:
'I then patted myself, that'l do bob, that'l do. Then settled to watch some usual suspects '

*I did not infact show her my man area we were just discussing what would happen if I did.


I dont know if insomnia hits many people but I am yet again finding myself unable to sleep.

I lay in bed, eyes closed. Every so often I look over to see 20 or so minutes have passed.

Its kind of weird, I feel so tired and yet my body refuses to shut down, even for a few hours.

Insomnia is definately weird, I dont know if any treatment exists but right now im thinking of popping down to tescos for some knockout pills.

Has anyone else suffered from this?

I tried counting sheep but when i got to 78 I had a sudden urge for lamb balti so I stopped.

18 March 2008

Welcome - to the age of the terminator

A Robot that can, while carying 340 pounds, walk over ice, traverse obstacles, walk up leaf ridden hills and walk through snow. If someone kicks it it will stumble and correct itself better than a live four legged animal.

Jesus h christ, this robot is so close to unstopable it is unbelievable. I have to admit that if this progress can be made in one year then the human race seriously needs to consider the safety checks being put in place to prevent these kind of things from being misused, or even worse, turning on us.

Imagine this thing but with a motion tracking machie gun on its back, much less than 340 pounds, and with a dna sensor to follow your path (Already exists)

Basically with a dash of armour you have a nigh on unstoppable machine tracking you with the sole purpose of destroying you.

Unless you have some grenades handy you would be in some REAL shit.

This to me seems the start of the progress towards comercial and defence robitics. We have all seen the clumsy two footed robots, carying things around the house but getting confused at the slightest problem.

Here we have a machine capable of traversing terrain and doing a job. With this technology it is only a matter of tiem before teh components are shrunk into something the size of the spiders of minority report. However imagine these spiders being able to pick up a DNA tril, following you to the exact location you are in. Now imagine if instead of minor electrical shocks they were able to deliver tranqualizers to instantly subdue anyone.

First off this would get rid of major crime, but then it could just as easily be used fror any crime.

Taking low class drugs? the people who never cause harm but like a bit of relaxation?

Binge drinking?


Where would the line be drawn?

Already the government is impementing ridiculous taxes to try and curb things like drinking.

They are saying the bing drinking 'problem' is costing the tax payers hundreds of millions.

Yet the revenue from pubs is worth billions in taxes, and yet hundreds of them are closing across the country.

They say a 4p rise will cut binge drinking? a binge drinker will not be bothered by four pence, only the sensible drinkers will be. Drinking has just been nailed as yet another excuse to drain the populace.

We are not binge drinking for any other reason than working under this countries regime of low wages, high cost of living and lack of pleasure remove any fun out of life. When our last resort to entertainment becomes a way of forgetting we are alive the government should start thinking about apeasing its taxes and laws to encorage propperity. Instead its is clamping down and draining every last breath from the people of Britain.

The public schooled, inherited wealth bastards in this country have no overdraft, they have no debt and they have never suffered in this country because of the problems caused by incompetent governments.

How can we trust a government baised with the belief that mortgages, utilities and council tax should not be included in the rate of inflation?

Please somebody save this country.

Somebody form a real labour party

Giving us the facts

Giving us answers

No more lies

Remove this stigma of pretending a problem doesnt exist and deal with it.

Dont stall a depression by closing like a clam, expand and make the country worth something.

Bring wages up to par

Bring our productivity up to pay the wages

Dont for gods sake make laws that restrict money and strange businesses and consumers alike

Take a smaller slice but enlarge the cake.

Dont try and get a bigger slice while crushing the entire thing.

12 March 2008

St Patricks Day

It seems that this years St Patricks Day is infact on the 15th, making it a saturday night, not amonday night. This means I get to lay in this St Patricks day!!!

11 March 2008

Raid on YAFA (York Action for Animals) In York


Police raided undisclosed locations in York two nights ago and arrested two individuals on charges of harassment. This has been labelled as a terrorist activity due to their membership of York Action for Animals (YAFA) a group that has strong organisations with the ALF (Animal Liberation Front) Who have been responsible for everything from Arson attacks all the way to stealing the remains of a deceased grandmother in order to exert their twisted view of the world upon everyone. ALF have been labelled as terrorist threat by both UK and American Governments.

The YAFA group has been recently linked to the ALF in several ways, from them having a key note speaker who in his past set off a bomb which severely disabeld a young child, all the way to more recent items such as promotion of the ALF on its website (And from the ALF to YAFA) Along with YAFA members writing on the ALF website on topics such as how to hide evidence when planning future illegal opperations.

While I do not condone animal cruelty the YAFA has always seemed to me to be a horrific waste of time and resource. The group regularly goes after soft targets where in most cases they make no difference for a slight push of publicity. At the same time they could have raised money for all kinds of causes .

The ALF is even worse, a terrorist group that values animals lives as more important as humans.
The YAFA has little knowledge of the inside workings of a farm, when questioned hard enough they seem to be unable to comprehend that farmers need to keep animals fit and healthy to turn a profit, and that the aniomals are worth a fair whack and well looked after because of that

When I queried a YAFA member as to whether she had ever worked on a farm before because her knowledge of how animals were looked after seemed to be based on an aged and to be honest completely incorrect view she admitted that she had not, but then she had the gall to say my view was limited because I have only seen the inside of a few farms!

Please tell me how you can justify having no knowledge on a subject is correct and having some knowledge and trying to correct the person with none is (And I quote) 'ignorant'.

Once you get to that stage they bring in the slaughter house, saying how the animals get frightened because they can smell blood, please give me one plausible way how you vould get around that?

The whole meat processing process now has incredibly stringent controls on how animals are treated, they are subject to the least possible stress and harm in the entire production. Not that long ago the animals where put through a lot of pain and suffering which has now been removed to a great extent in the uk.

Another great example of the YAFAs complete inability to even look at facts contradictory to their own is how a police statement over teh dawn raids this week says

"They were suspected of harassment "relating to an incident connected to a restaurant in York". "

""We understand that these complaints do not relate to our demonstrations, and the two individuals deny any wrongdoing," he said. "

Which were co-incidentaly outside said restauraunt.

I have real trouble accepting that a foundation that seems to run on the basis of facism, where any comment contrary to their beliefs is removed and the perpetrator banned. The foundation of any cause is to debate, explain and support its cause. Not refuse to accept any kind of information that is not in support of what they already believe.

The worst part is that a local councillor (Paul Blanchard) shows strong support for this group, how can a group that has such strong relations with terrorist activity supported by our local government?

10 March 2008

Poker Night

It turns out I am not the instant card genius I thought I would be.

After playing poker for the first time on friday I left the building 10 pounds shorter, about 20 insult heavier and with a new life lesson under my belt.

Do not drink 12 bottles of Carlsberg Export when money is at stake.


06 March 2008

My Brain is Full

The training course I went on was fairly intensive, 2 1/2 days of revision then an exam.

My practice scores were around 35-38 out of 40. I thought I ahd it nailed. Propper exam came, bloody hell it was hard.

Not sure I passed.

Will find out in 2 weeks!

Ahhh well I have some fun filled weekends planned, viva la anglais

Planning my holiday away, cant wait!

Can't think of much to write at the moment, my brain is still fuzzy.

Seeing the girlfriend this weekend, missed the girl have to admit!

Need sleep but i have to work, bah.

Will update properly soon!

26 February 2008


I have lost my internet connectivity, this has hugely affected my life in a work, social and boredom sense.

Right now I am at work, so close and yet so far.

I have a mental image of my email, unaccessable from work, slowly filling up. My important messages slowly getting lost in a sea of junk emails...

Dear god.

Tiscali bloody useless technical support have been telling me it will be working in 24 hours 5 days in a row... They always try and query my router, IT'S NOT MY FUCKING ROUTER YOU TWATS.

I think im going to cry.

22 February 2008

Another Day

Last night I continued to discover how much of a drinking lightweight I have become.

In November I stopped drinking, needed to save up some cash for a skiing trip in January, in December I fractured my knee ni two places, so couldn't go skiing and couldn't drink. The irony was so thick a mole on speed could not have dug through it.

At a Christmas work bash on the 24th I had 2 pints, I then went to bed and fell straight to sleep. Admittedly I was on painkillers at this point but it was still a poor show. recently I have been having around 5-6 pints and it has been totalling me, less than half a year ago this would have just got me started!

The question is, should I try and regain some of my manly prowess in the consumption of alcohol, or shall I stop drinking every so often so I remain lightweighted and can go out on just over a tenner?

18 February 2008

*Edit* I realised that where i meant to put
"What I am against is this I wrote " I actually put "What I am not against is this".

I am a large supporter of allowing people to make their own decisions by informing them of the facts without bias. In some sectors, for instance animal rights, there is a huge amount of propaganda. This is a shame since it is a viable cause, however if you spend enough time researching you can usually find the truth of a situation.

What I am against is this.

A man-sized talking rabbit appeared on television in Gaza on Friday to denounce Danish newspapers over cartoons of the Prophet Mohammad that offended Muslims.

The latest in a line of cartoon-inspired characters that take the message of the Hamas Islamist movement to Palestinian children, the actor in the Bugs Bunny-style outfit also railed against "Zionist filth" and Israel's control of Jerusalem.

The Friday show "Tomorrow's Pioneers" on Hamas's al-Aqsa channel has become a weekend fixture for pre-teens since shortly before the Islamists seized control of the Gaza Strip last year.

A Mickey Mouse-type creation provoked outcry in Israel and was condemned elsewhere as inciting hatred among the young. The mouse, eventually shown being beaten to death by an Israeli, was followed by a talking bee and, now, by Assud the rabbit.

"I want the West to hear this. I want the Danes who offended the great Prophet to hear it," the rabbit said, gesturing to viewers after the show's co-presenter, a girl of about 12 named Sarra, condemned Danish newspapers for reprinting the cartoons after police accused several men of plotting to kill the artist.

"Where are you Muslims? Where are you Arabs?" said Sarra, wearing a headscarf and speaking with precocious eloquence.

"We are all a sacrifice for the Prophet. The soldiers of Tomorrow's Pioneers will redeem the Prophet with all they have."

Now at the ages these kids are being shown this program they are at their most susceptable, and yet their is a cartoon out there suggesting to children that they go out and kill people of other religions?

Can you imagines the uproar that would occur if a white cartoon was made suggesting the killing of Muslims?

I am very, very worried that they are allowing this to be shown, not only for the children being show this kind of material but for the countries who may suffer because of it.
Condoning this kind of hatred in a cartoon aimed at 5-14 year olds is beyond dispicable.

15 February 2008

Office Event

Sometimes writing up events to entertain my literal ten of readers can be a bit of a chore, I do it more to keep some kind of regular readership up rather than out of any purpose or enjoyment.

Today however there was an incident at work that made my chuckle, more at social reaction than the event itself.

We were in the office, sat at our desks when a technician walked up and started talking to one of our coworkers. Midway through the conversation he farted. Thats right he let one rip right in the middle of the office.

The silence could not be cut with a diamond edged knife. Laughs and giggles were kept in by ruler straight tight lipped mouths.

The techy is carries on, unaware of his faux pas in the management environment. I am half hoping he belches the alphabet as well.

As soon as he steps out of the door laughter errupts.

Have I become a snob?

What ho jeeves that poor person is dieing on my street, remove him at once.

14 February 2008

Valentines Day

Valentines Day can either be a fantastically romantic day or the day you feel like the worlds greatet social reject.

However you look at it though, valentines day is one of the most commercialy driven yet socially significant events in the westernised world. It reminds us all to take a step back and look at what is really important, or more significantly WHO is really important.

My valentines days have varied significantly over teh past, from lonely, to sex filled to romantic meals I have done the works. Though I do regret sometimes that no relationship I have been in has reached a two valentines day mark.

I think my strangest valentines day was a few years back, when I was 21. The girl I was seeing was only 17 at the time, slightly pervy but there you go. She got me a teddybear and a HUGE card. It was filled with sweet words and so on, but never the less I could not help but feel a little self concious that I was walking through Leeds looking like a mobile Hallmark vendor.

When I was at highschool I was seeing this girl frmo college, my boyish charms won her over I guess. I was 15, she was 17. I never mentioned my age, she thought I was around the same age as her I think.

We had only been going out for a couple of weeks, leaving me at the akward not knowing her, not wanting to get anything too big to make me look too eager and not wanting to get something too small to make her think im not bothered.

So I took her for a meal, single red rose in hand and then things started to go wrong. As we left the resteraunt she looked a little unhappy, as we progressed through the night she became more and more depressed. Finally the night ended with her slapping me and proclaiming me a cheat and a cheapskate.

I was fairly nonplussed by this, what the hell had I done?

The next day my maet asked me how the date had gone, a big grin on his face.

Suspicion ran through my mind faster than the japanese public transport system.


I query

"Well I bumped into that girl you were seeing amte, thought I would suggest what kind of brilliant present you had undoubtedly bought her."

"What did you say!" I start forward, realising that this guy might have lost me a two year older girl, an astounding achievment at my age.

"I may have mentioned seeing you buy something gold and sparkly" he says, not getting much further as I start seeing red.

11 February 2008

What would you do for a flying car?

08 February 2008

Valentines Day

"Will you be working earlies on the 15th?"

I ask.

"I was thinking of taking the morning off ;)"

I hint, earlier last night I had suggested we go for a meal on the 14th you see, for a bit of valentines day speciality.

So I scroll down hastily as my boss returns to hsi desk and press send.


I shout, as I realise I have just sent the text to my Dad.

Bollox, I though.

06 February 2008

Extreme Chair Surfing

Office chair + rope + Car =

No Pants Day

Genius, what can I say?

I think going around in your underwear for a bit sounds fun, how weird would you find it if half the people around you were walking around in their boxers/knickers?

When I was a kid I was a bit of a smart arse at school, clever and yet cocky, but always a middleman. I always found it best to hang back and appraise a situation. There was however this one kid who would do something (though I cannot remember what) that would cause me to chase after him.

It was always 50/50 as to wether I caught him or not, if I didn't get him I would usually be found sprawled somewhere victim of a minor cardiac arrest. If I managed to grab him a short tussle would ensue, rresulting on him on the floor and me with several bite marks, the both of us with a telling off and slight festering of wounds would occur on my part.

Now I think back on it that little bastard technically won every time.

05 February 2008

Two Week Road Trip to Four Party Capitals!

This summer me and my mates have decided to return to Europe where we will be visiting four capitals of culture and chaos.

We will be visiting Amsterdam, Berlin, Munich and Barcelona in that order to achieve a fortnight of pure entertainment around the continent.

Last years road trip as fantastic, but we tried to get just a little too much into 2 weeks.

So this year as we jump into a car and head to four cities renowned for both their historic past and beer filled present we will be staying in hostels, meeting fantastic new people and heading out with a clear aim of having a fucking great time.

31 January 2008

Thursday Morning.

I woke up at 6:30 this morning.

The wind souinded so strong it was going to knok my house over.

The rain sounded so fierce it could have been a warzone outside.

Fortunately I was pretty tired so i dropped off back to sleep.

Unfortunately It was still going on when I woke up after subconciously pressing snooze three times in a row.

I wearly got dressed, showered and did my usual morning hygene rituals in approximately that order, before thinking perhaps I should get my wterproof coat out for this one.

Now being on crutches at the moment my movement is slightly impaired, so rummaging through the loft, cupboards, bedroom and closet I had eventually gave up and stepped outside... Into a beautifully bright sunny morning.

Fuck I thought as I looked at my watch and realised that I was going to be late and now had no excuse whatsoever.

Fortunately I got in before the rest of my team, guess my luck was in after all!

30 January 2008

New flatmate

We are looking for a new flatmate, room is fairly spacious in York CC in a 500 year old house,

Applicants must be fairly clean, sociable, financially stable and prefferably own a PS3.

28 January 2008

Mc A-levels

Macdonalds is a great way to get food with zero to little nutritional content in a fast, overpriced and probably spat in way.

They recently expanded their range to include slightly healthier options such as frozen veg transported from where it is cheapest to grow and yoghurt, which is so lively it can defend itself.

But it seems that is not enough. The government has approved, along with two other companies, MacDonalds to have its very own qualification which will be the equivalent to an A-Level.

And they say standards are slipping...

Reuters included items such as business management as part of this new high class teaching environment. I think I can safely say that I would not ever want to see in any way shape or form the scrotes from Macdonalds running a business. The way they sneeze into the chip fat and spit on your burger is enough to make me think that perhaps these guys are not infact management material.

But for all those teenagers studying hard to earn that A-Level, pretty soon you will be level with the guy who failed high school and his shiny new Mc A-level. Do you want fries with that?

I know longer know how to shop.

Now that Woolworths has closed down.

All I wanted was a big bar of chocolate.

But where the fuck do I get one of those without Woolworths?

I am going to have to remove my friends and family from my social life before the next birthday of each respective one.

24 January 2008

Is Child Abuse Really an Excuse?

More and more often I am seeing 'I was abused as a child' as something muttered by defendants in the media. Recently a mother sued her own son in America because he claimed that he beat him regularly to within an inch of his life when trying to get of a drug dealing charge.

But I don't want to talk about the false claims here, I want to talk about the real claims.

There have been several cases of paedophilia where some disgrace of a 40 year old has slept with a 12 year old girl, their defence being along the lines of 'my dad abused me sexually when I was young'

Don't get me wrong, having your dad shaft you up the arse is going to be traumatic for anyone, but what in gods name does that have to do with you picking up a girl who has only just started hearing about that sex thing and abusing the trust she places in you as an adult.

I know some people who have suffered physical and mental abuse as a child, and they are for the most part top blokes. They have fought their way through the hard times and used it as a pointer that hopefully they can make other peoples life's much happier than their own childhood, and usually they tend to have a pretty good thing going.

True they look back on their past with different emotions, be it fear, hatred or anger. But they have grown up, they learnt right and wrong, and they fixed their lives. The past will never go away, sometimes its still there, cowering in a house you used to live in alone and decrepit, whether their life fell apart or you fixed the atrocities with your own fist. The fear and pain they inflicted on you could still be there, in a person. All the abused can do is take solace in the fact that they came out on top, they won, they have the loving families while the abusers got nothing.

It is these people, who have got through the hard times, who inspire me. It is those that use the hard times as an excuse who disgust me.

I saw a report about a 19 year old getting arrested for soliciting sex with a 15 year old in a nightclub. He blamed child abuse.

Personally I think at 19 you are damn randy, 15 year olds tend to dress up to look a few years olders and tend to be in most nightclubs. This bloke sawa fit looking bird and went for it.

Maybe the judge should have asked what the 15 year old girl was doing in the nightclub, plastered in makeup and flirting with the guys.

The 15 year old admitted willingly going home with him, at 15 if I went to a birds house just me and her i was more than aware of what was on the cards. She claimed she woke up the next day and realised she had been raped, drugged by alcohol her lawyer put it, she was awake through the whole experience apparently, but too drunk to realise that she didn't want to do tis.

No rape date drug, just alcohol. True alcohol lowers your inhibitions, but could the bloke use I was drugged by alcohol too as an excuse for taking her home?

Now maybe im wrong, maybe he saw a young inexperience girl, got her drunk till she passed out and then shagged her. But I saw the guys picture, he didn't look like a guy who would do that. It seems more like this girl got pissed up and made a mistake. But she got that drunk, she made that mistake, and mistakes ARE mistake, if you make one dont try and blame it on the guy you were with.

The only reason I stopped feeling sorry for this guy was because he claimed it was child abuse. But saying that he saw a cute girl around his own age, they went home and did the usual would have probably got him locked up.

May I point out my last girlfriend was eight years older than me, I've had girlfriends four years younger than me. At no point have I been taking advantage, I genuinely like them. Even if it some of my encounters have been one night stands, alcohol induced or otherwise the age gap has never been a big deal to me. The people that really should be locked up are teh old men who activeley seek out underage girls, even children and groom them just so they can get their end away. Fucking disgusting.

I think I have drifted slightly off topic, just rambling away to myself more than writing a blog, so i'm going to call it a day here.

23 January 2008

Last Night I Made a Mistake..

So last night I became fairly bored and started singing along to some music in my room, when in the couple of cans jolly state I remembered one of my flatmates had Singstar, that playstation game where you sing into the microphone.

Now I have never imagined myself as Pavarotti, Bon Jovi, or even a Steve Coogan. But I do, or at least did, believe that I could hold my own. Oohhhhh dear.

After the first couple of goes at a Maroon 5 song I moved onto some U2 With beautiful day. The best I got was wannabee, with a coulpe of awfuls thrown in. My other flat mate came down at this point to mention that the food I asked him to pick up from Tescos had arrived. We both knew this was just some guise in checking that I was not raping an injured cat.

Then I discovered something, after a quick rendition or 'Grapevine' I discovered something truely amazing. I can sing black music better. I did not try any rap, nor any Micheal Jackson. I attempted some Jamaican, but failed ever so miserably. Soul music however, I kick arse at.

The problem is in every pub bar and club I have been pissed in I have most definately not been singing soul. Singstar confirmed that I had infact been making a twat of myself as I tried to redo some of my favorite pissup songs to a score board.

I am never EVER singing again.

22 January 2008

A deep and dark secret....

As some people close to me/used otbe close to me, and a few of the IT guys at work know I do infact have a geeky side.

This is not just limited to the humiliating fact that I do infact spend a small but significant portion of my life writing complete shite for this blog. I do infact have another, deep, intimate and embarrasing secret,






you know..


play world of warcraft.


Thats right, while some nights I live a cavaleer life, pulleda fine scottish bird last week, hoping to repeat this week, even on crutches. I do have a dark, geeky secret. And I have just told the world. If anyone in the world ever speaks of this again I shall punch their nutsack so hard they will be shitting bollox, I joke not.

To make the situation worse though I have even started blogging about this on http://wowraidguide.blogspot.com this for some reason seems to me like I have hit a new low, though I would be lieing if I said my alterior motive wasnt to try and makea bit of money out of this.

After all my blog literally makes me $0.80 a month, thats 40p, or 30p after tax, and -£27.70 after the bank charges me for having the audacity to transfer money from another country, even though paypal does it for free and only charges me a small commision on currency exchange.

Bastard Banks.

21 January 2008

Office Worker Ranks

I was looking at what people searched for on my website today and noticed that I still have a relatively high number of stalkers searching my email address, please leave.

I also saw that somebody searched for 'ranks of office workers'

This I thought was not a bad question.

So now I will compile a list of office worker ranks from the ground up.

Tea boy/ Rent boy.

Lowest of the low, this poor sod has left school and entered into the world of the office, he gets berated for his lack of skills, age and experience, not to mention facial hair.

Data Inputters

These sad bastards have to input data from one various form to another. In some cases this means a day of copying and pasting from emails. I know, I've been there.

Service Desk

Wether it be IT or support these guys have to deal with shite day in and day out from the entire company. The job does however have some interesting perks. These guys can mess with head, exagerate problems, delete vital data and tel you to reboot your machine. Don't get on the wrong side of these sly dogs.


These are the guys who have a bit more know how, they have worked in the company for a while and not progressed, their knowledge is invaluable though. You will find a fair few middle aged people in this situation who really should have moved on.

Team Leaders.

They think they have power.


They hold the money and are good with numbers. There will always be one fit bird in the finance team who will be lusted after by the majority of the other blokes around her.


These guys wear the slick suits and sort out your day to day life, ensuring you are a happy productive person. Failing that they will ignore the problem completely. These are the guys you turn to when you need corporate support, therefore their schedule is always fully booked with meetings and training sessions which keep them a safe distance from their lackeys.

Project Managers

These guys ensure they always have a job to do by making things as complicated as possible. They will then ensure the company processes fuck up before deciding the previous system was probably the best after all.


They pay you. They always have the nicest desks, hottest women and unattainable success. These people are untouchable.

Upper Management.

They take simplified data form the management team and change it till it makes them look good. This is then passed upto teh directors.

The Directors.

Use the reports to wipe the anal cavities of the flying monkeys they use to communicate. They then continue to make the changes that affect their stock in the best way.


Listens to the directors complaining about their measly 50 grand pay increases and then jumps on a plane to Barbados for a fling with Jennifer Ellison and Kelly Brook

The Non Executive Directors

While technically lower than the CEO and on a par with Directors. The difference is these guys work 5 days out of the year and get paid an obscene amount. Life of bloody luxury.

18 January 2008

The British Culture.

I thought I best make my position clear on teh subject of british culture, since it seems not liking the BNP can be constrewed as some as voting against the retention of the British way of life. If you have read this blog before you can probably skip this.

I fully support protecting the British way of life. I don't mind poeple coing here and working here. What really gets on my tits is when people come over ehre and then have the gall to complain. You moved here it was your, or your families choice, to move to Britain. Why do you want to move to Britain? We are successful, friendly and open inded.

So please, do not come over here and complain about things like christmas, crosses, easter and any other part of British culture that has been ingrained into our way of life. Sure build a mosque if you want, but dont complain about the church next door.

The British government is seemingly intent on pandering to the minorities, being a young white office worker I am fully against this, if not for any reason other than im getting shafted left right or centre by welfare benefits and minority benefits while i struggle to afford to live by paying extortionate taxes to pay for it all.

Now while I think this I do not support the BNP. While I do agree with many of their policies they seem to have been taken over by a bunch of racist twats with an agenda, when the party was originally founded to protect our country.

But lets face it, threats to British culture are coming from more than other people visiting the UK.

The Fight Against Binge Drinking?

Now, I can see the governments angle, but with a huge defecit, failing economy and failed war overseas should their top priority really be me and my mates having one too many and falling asleep somewhere. True some violence comes from drinking, some fuckwits will always twat someone for no reason. Lock the fuckers up. Let out the people who cant afford to pay their taxes since they have been hit by one after another of Gordon Browns stealth taxes and try help them get back on their feet.

The binge culture is a part of British life. As much as I like european drinknig culture I wouldnt want to live with it forever. British weather prevents the sitting outside till 3 in the morning, hell even some British laws prevent us from sitting outside till 3 in the morning in some places. We dont start work late, have a siesta then finish at 8, though it would suit me hands down. And, to be quite honest, its just not as much fun.

I like British culture, I like going to the pub with my mates, I fucking love Yorkshire puddings and I love my country. I do not care who comes and goes as long as they realise that this is Britain, if you dont like it, fuck off.

We used to control the globe, we owned half the world. God knows why we had a fall that exceeded the loss of power of the Roman empire. Our fucked up management in trying to please the world left us with next to nothng.

But let me point out that despite protection of British culture some diversity is good. I dont mind going for the occasional curry, but i'ld blooody well kick off if they complained that my local chippy offended them.


Rant over.

17 January 2008

Is prohibiting extremism really the right way to go?

Today I will be taking a rather more serious note. Terrorism founded from extremist groups is a big, if slightly overplayed, subject in the media.

Everywhere there is condemnation of extremist groups be they Al Qaeda or the BNPs more vicious wings. Now while it is obvious that such groups have anegative effect on society is it really proactive to try and silence these groups?


It seems Home Secretary Ms Jaqui (you can see why I'm single) Smith has recently been campaining for extremist websites to be shut down, as they could infect unerable people with malicious and dangerous ideas. Now this seems fine in principle, but where exactly do you draw the line? Websites condoning terrorism are already shut down, so she is obviously after something else. Where do you draw the line at extremism and valid causes?

But this alone is not the major reason I wrote this post. By removing the extremists ability to express themselves you are actually exagerating teh problem, by silencing these people you are infact stirring them into a greater frenzy, and in some cases validating their cause.

Recently a member of the BNP was spoke at a conference, the people who attended this were pelted with stone, hit with signs and verbally as well as physically abused. Now while I do not agree with these policies surely it would be better to let the man speak and then either laugh him down or use reason to argue his points.

In the same way instead of validating the Al Qaeda and other terrorist and extremist groups by taking them seriously as a threat, surely it would be better to give them a platfrom for public voice so that these people can see what the majority REALLY think.

It is like the Ireland debacle of over a century. The reasons behind the conflict are mostly superficial, which country owns what, what religion you are and so forth. This argument is carried by a minority nowdays, the majority more concerned with getting on with their lives.

Im sure even Osma bin Laden himself would feel his wrath fade if he was preaching to an audience only to be asked if he wanted a cup of tea and a ginger biscuit, the shouting must be making him hoarse.

16 January 2008

Scary Youtube video

This is kind of weird, especially the way she looks the the poeple behind the glass in the end. Most likely a fake but wouldnt it be so fricking cool if you could really get supernatural powers like that?

Forget Yuri Gellar Or however the spoon bending ponces name is spelt, lets get powers that blow shit up.

14 January 2008

Huge Gas Cloud Will Hit the Milky Way!

"Huge Gas Cloud Will Hit the Milky Way!"

I read

"A giant cloud of hydrogen gas is racing towards a collision with the Milky Way, astronomers have announced. "

It continued.

"It contains enough hydrogen to produce a million stars like our Sun, researchers believe.

When it does fully interact with our galaxy, the cloud could indeed set off a new burst of star formation in the Milky Way"

I Panicked

"The monster cosmic "fog bank" is careering towards our galaxy at more than 240km/s (150 miles/s) "

I decide to join a religion.

"when it smacks into our galaxy in 20-40 million years."

Thank Fuck.

(Quite a large range though wouldn't you agree?)

08 January 2008

Welcome to Australia!

A friend who I had been planning to go traveling with mentioned Australia as a possible destination. work hard, get some money together, go for 6 months of drinking.

I forwarded him to this.

In all fairness though I really do want to visit Australia, the beaches, the people and the Aussie culture is just something that I really do want to experience.

Might have to turn it into a working holiday though.

07 January 2008

Awwww Looks like Somebody has a Case of the Mondays!

Monday mornings are always pretty damn horrendous for anyone. Only when you hit the first one of the new year though do things really realise how mind numbingly terrible they are.

From the half hearted roll out of bed, approximately half an hour late, all the way to realising you have run out of coffee to give you some kind of kick start. Trudging to work asking yourself why oh why you should be working, Christmas was so much better!

I think this condition can be summed up most eloquently with a quote from cult film office space.

"Case of the Mondays"

That's rights it has a name!

And as the film fantastically points out, it only occurs in office workers. The kind of depression that can only be associated with the stuck in a rut going no where, tired of job sickness that involves computers. No other profession has this kind of problem.

It is infact the depression where, with pure certainty, you know the only get out will be a large lottery win.

I have my ticket bought.

03 January 2008

Normally I love a festive snow filled christmas, well despite the snow being late it seems to be covering my fair city in a fairly thick blanket. Normally I would enjoy a bit of snow, it gives teh seasona bit of meaning This year however I have a knee that is fractured in two places with a bit of other random damage scattered about it. Hence on my return journeys to work I have to be supremely careful with my hopping along on fairly unstable crutches.

This morning I nearly went over on a hidden patch of ice, fortunately steading myself by jamming my crutch into the achilies heel of the person in front of me. Its ok I didn't hurt myself.

While I am normally fairly stable on my crutches the addition of snow covvered patches of ice is going to add a new hazard to my daily life. My coworkers have supplied me with some helpful comments such as mini skis for my crutches, particularly cruel since I was meant to be going snowboarding in Andora in three days time, the bastards.

Ah well, I fully intend to return to munich this year, a great city in the south of germany. since I have the extra week off from this snowboarding holiday I might move this into a 2 week treck, from amsterdam over to berlin then finishing off for a few days in good ol Munchen (Thats Munich in German for those who don't know). After that a trip to Poland and some of the eastern european countries is in order, then after a year or two I will hopefully be a little richer and move on to Africa, Asia Australia then a bit of America.

I can dream...

02 January 2008

Leap Year 2008

So it turns out the year of 2008 will be a leap year, those annoying celestial four quaters of a day bundled into one aunnual pain in the arse for the human race.

Some people benefit from this extra day, contractors and people on a daily wage get the cash and can laugh in the faces us annually paid employees. For us that are paid on an annual contract each year means one thing for our employers, they get a free days work out of us. This is more than slightly annoying for those of us with these contracts, especialy those of us with contractor friends, who will no doubt rub this in when they realise the significance.

Bastard physics.

My only solice is the fact that for some poor bastards somewhere they technically dont have a birthday three out of the four years. Some might class this as less of a worry, i mean they will just celebrate around the date, but im sure it makes it just a little bit harder for them to receive their birthday pints.