21 August 2008

Back From Abroad

So I just about survived my holidays with only the minorest of head injuries, sans wallet, phone and camera, and much much lighter in the bank account department.

I did however have a fantastic time, still love Barcelona (Where the mugging happened) have fallen head over heels for Munich, a city where drunken conversation the previous night was the target of a last minute holiday in mid September, only sobriety plus a heavy, heavy overdraft disuaded me from what would have otherwise been an amazing holiday!

In my absense though a lot of things have happened, most noteably our local has now allowed drinking outside, we have an incredibly hot bar girl working (Unfortunately only temporarily) there.

Also,

David Becham had his penis photoshoped on a 100 foot armani poster

The United Kingdom is doing surprisingly well in the Olympics, seriously annoying the Aussies who are a place and several medals behind us. Their polititions have now declared an olympic vendetta against the English, not exactly true to the aim of bringing nations closer together, but goddamn I love the Aussie attitude to life!

Britain has entered a recession, aparently, we all knew this anyway but now the government has decided its too obvious to blatently lie about it.

Gordon Brown is still a Cock. You heard me. Cock.

Big Brother is apparently on, some things have happened, I haven't watched any of it, and would sooner beat myself to death with a rabid lemming than switch it on.

Russian and American tensions are rising because Russia stepped into Georgia to prevent teh Mass genocide of its citizens.

America has continued to prevent mass genocide in several countries by bombing the hell out of its civilians, police, army, teh british army and occasionally a terrorist.

The new York city conucil offices, condemend since the beginning of their design have been scrapped, thank god.

Unfortunately this hair brained scheme has so far cost the tax payer £5 million (Thats $10 million to you yanks) Considering this included engineering, construction, furnishing and similar costs when all we actualy got was a drawing or two the York residents are severely worrieda s to how we spent so much.

A plane crashed ont eh runway in Madrid, reasons are unknown but it all looks a bit fishy, plane not included as part of a recal etc, my condolences go out to the families. It went in for repair due to a mechanical fault before take off, i really wouldn't want to be the engineer who did that right now. 150+ deaths, many of them children, in one day is a lot to hold over someone.

A-levels are not getting easier say the colleges, this is interesting to note as the record english results co-incide with a record rate of illiteracy in the UK.

Gary Glitter is out of prison and trying to avoid the UK where he is expected to be castrated by an angry mob on arrival.

My electricity and water bills have shot up, apparently this is due to inflation and rising costs, which goes little way towards explaining why these companies are still posting record profits. Bastards.

3 comments:

Jaggy said...

Oh yer back? What kept you?

So explain the mugging then. I thought you Yorkshire men were meant to be tough?

Did they nick your camera with all your holiday photos still on it?

Aye, and we expect to see a picture of this hot barmaid from your local.

The Manic Street Preacher said...

I think you need a holiday mate ;-)

Welcome home. Aren't you just chuffed to be here then?

Broke But Still Drinking said...

...and I lost a close friend this past weekend. Just got back from the wedding. He looked nothing like the guy I remember from college. It's a damn shame, all these healthy men getting their lives ruined by "relationship" addiction.