24 January 2008

Is Child Abuse Really an Excuse?

More and more often I am seeing 'I was abused as a child' as something muttered by defendants in the media. Recently a mother sued her own son in America because he claimed that he beat him regularly to within an inch of his life when trying to get of a drug dealing charge.

But I don't want to talk about the false claims here, I want to talk about the real claims.

There have been several cases of paedophilia where some disgrace of a 40 year old has slept with a 12 year old girl, their defence being along the lines of 'my dad abused me sexually when I was young'

Don't get me wrong, having your dad shaft you up the arse is going to be traumatic for anyone, but what in gods name does that have to do with you picking up a girl who has only just started hearing about that sex thing and abusing the trust she places in you as an adult.

I know some people who have suffered physical and mental abuse as a child, and they are for the most part top blokes. They have fought their way through the hard times and used it as a pointer that hopefully they can make other peoples life's much happier than their own childhood, and usually they tend to have a pretty good thing going.

True they look back on their past with different emotions, be it fear, hatred or anger. But they have grown up, they learnt right and wrong, and they fixed their lives. The past will never go away, sometimes its still there, cowering in a house you used to live in alone and decrepit, whether their life fell apart or you fixed the atrocities with your own fist. The fear and pain they inflicted on you could still be there, in a person. All the abused can do is take solace in the fact that they came out on top, they won, they have the loving families while the abusers got nothing.

It is these people, who have got through the hard times, who inspire me. It is those that use the hard times as an excuse who disgust me.

I saw a report about a 19 year old getting arrested for soliciting sex with a 15 year old in a nightclub. He blamed child abuse.

Personally I think at 19 you are damn randy, 15 year olds tend to dress up to look a few years olders and tend to be in most nightclubs. This bloke sawa fit looking bird and went for it.

Maybe the judge should have asked what the 15 year old girl was doing in the nightclub, plastered in makeup and flirting with the guys.

The 15 year old admitted willingly going home with him, at 15 if I went to a birds house just me and her i was more than aware of what was on the cards. She claimed she woke up the next day and realised she had been raped, drugged by alcohol her lawyer put it, she was awake through the whole experience apparently, but too drunk to realise that she didn't want to do tis.

No rape date drug, just alcohol. True alcohol lowers your inhibitions, but could the bloke use I was drugged by alcohol too as an excuse for taking her home?

Now maybe im wrong, maybe he saw a young inexperience girl, got her drunk till she passed out and then shagged her. But I saw the guys picture, he didn't look like a guy who would do that. It seems more like this girl got pissed up and made a mistake. But she got that drunk, she made that mistake, and mistakes ARE mistake, if you make one dont try and blame it on the guy you were with.

The only reason I stopped feeling sorry for this guy was because he claimed it was child abuse. But saying that he saw a cute girl around his own age, they went home and did the usual would have probably got him locked up.

May I point out my last girlfriend was eight years older than me, I've had girlfriends four years younger than me. At no point have I been taking advantage, I genuinely like them. Even if it some of my encounters have been one night stands, alcohol induced or otherwise the age gap has never been a big deal to me. The people that really should be locked up are teh old men who activeley seek out underage girls, even children and groom them just so they can get their end away. Fucking disgusting.

I think I have drifted slightly off topic, just rambling away to myself more than writing a blog, so i'm going to call it a day here.

1 comment:


nice one.

The worst abusers in the world are the one's who had it and then give it.

They know what it feels like.

I would personally execute them without a moments hesitation.

It may screw your head up and you will almost certainly have a different view of 'right and wrong' from 'normal' people but you never repeat what happened to you.

If you do it's just another way of letting your abuser win and they must never win.

Good post mate. Very good post.