31 October 2007


On our last full day in Munich we decided to go to Dachau. Dachau is one of the first concentration camps used by the Nazi forces during world war 2, it was infact their 'prototype'.

When we arrived at the car park the skies were grey and rain was starting to spit upon us. A stiff breeze shook the nearby trees as we made our way to the site where an astonishing 200,000 prisoners where held, and where it is estimated that around 32,099 died there,

As we crossed the road into the path lined with poplars which thickened the oppressive atmosphere with a susurrus from the deep wind above shaking the leaves of the trees planted by the very prisoners that where liberated from the camp.

As you enter the camp you find yourself on the old marching grounds where the prisoners used to attend a role call every morning, It didnt take long to reach the barracks where you saw where the sleeping quaters for the prisoners used to stand, these had been constructed by the very prisoners that occupied them. By the time this camp was liberated nearly 1,600 prisoners where found in each building.

The amount of tragedy that had occured at this place did not really occur to me till I saw a picture, it showed one of the still standing trees beside it surrounded by decrepit prisoners, as I glanced up I saw the same building, the same tree hardly any taller.

It was not that long ago that people had lost their lives to a regeime of pure hatred.

While in Munich we learned of groups that sought to bring down the Nazi power from the inside, they tried to educate their own people about what was really happening in the war. If ever this happens again that one moment in Dachau would lend them my support.

29 October 2007

Pictures from Europe

As promised here are some of my pictures from the Europe Road Trip, theres still a few more but I cant get them (Or the video of the revolving toilet seat) off my phone at the moment as I spilt beer on it and it no longer reads the memory card.


28 October 2007

Two Week Road Trip Around Europe - Munich

So we leave the strasbourg/kehl border behind and head off to find somewhere to sleep, eventually we come to a service station that looks like we might not get arse raped and get ready to kip for the night. Before dropping off though I headed to the toiler.

This toilet put to shame any English facility I had ever been in, the air was fresh, the walls sparkling and the urinals lit up when you started to piss. But the most amazing thing happened when I went for a dump. After flushing the toilet something happened that I have never seen before, its simplicity and yet extravagance hypnotized me.

Let me set the scene, you are very tired, ready for bed and you go to flush. A quite electric sound humms from the water tank behind the toilet and a small part detaches itself. A small arm with a disenfectant covered spounge decends onto the part of the toilet seat closest to it. After a couple of seconds the ENTIRE TOILET SEAT rotates, ensuring every partof the seat is clean and acceptable for the next user.

Jesus I have never been so impressed with anything in my life.

The next morning we woke up, anus intact and began the trip to Munich. The trip was fairly uneventful, progress was unfortunately pretty slow due to a torrential downpour limiting our vision considerably.

Eventually we arrived in one of the more famous of German cities, Munich or Munchen in the native tongue.

Munich is a fantastic city, while we did not see it at its best due to unseasonally poor weather I fell in love with the city. From the cheap beer to the friendly people I found it hard to fault this city or the people in it. The architecture of many buildings was stunning, with their historic buildings given copious space unlike many similar places in the UK. We took a short walk through the English Gardens, A huge tract of land filled with english style foilage. Unlike many English gardens however the one in the centre of Munich comes with four huge beer gardens, a nudist area and even parts of the river where surfers can ride the current.

Our guide told us how in warmer weather the areas we passed would be thronged with people playing in the river, drinking in the spacious tree covered beer gardens and of course walking around naked. Fortunately due to the weather we avoided copious amounts of bodily hair, but rather disappointingly missed out on some of the worlds most renowned drinking areas.

We did however visit the Hofbrauhaus, this is renowned to visitors of this city, not only for its hefty steins of beef, large portions of filling food and authentic bovarian music but also for its locals, who drink here regularly and later on in teh night have a tendancy to dance on the tables and get truely wasted. The hofbrauhaus is the only place I have ever been in my life where they have a dedicated funnel type piece of apparatus specifically for people to be sick into. INterestingly they only have this in the mens... obviously the designers never went fora night out in Leeds.

The Hofbrauhaus is wher Hitler first started his campaign, though intially he was boo'd off and had glasses chucked at him this was later turned into one of his main establishments, if you look at the roof from the inside you can clearly see where the swastika were painted on the ceiling and later painted over with flags, though unfortunately still in the shape of the fallen symbol.

At our hostel (Its called the wombat hostel, would highly recommend it!) We met some fantastic people, Patrick the card genius, Eric scarily intense, think 7 minute abs off theres something about mary, Emi & Briannan (Not sure how she spelt it offhand, bloody aussies)and several other random people we played cards with. No other place was there the same kind of atmosphere as here.

At the hostel next door I vaguely remember meeting several other people, all of them seemed pretty cool, at this point however it was knocking on for 4 in the morning and I was pretty hammered.

I am hoping to go back to Munich next year, I couldn't fault it.

26 October 2007


Since my updates have become fairly sporadic and yet I dont really want this blog to fall over I am opening my doors to a co-blogger or two.

If there is anyone out there, in the UK or otherwise who is interested in blogging, but cant quite be bothered to set one up this could be for you. If you're interested simply send me an e-mail with a story, im not sure whether il post this onto the blog for my reader(s?) to decide or choose myself!

The only rules I dictate are

- No Chavs
- No Dickheads
- No French
- You must work in a regular job, preferably office work but I would consider others.
- You should post at least once a month, any less isnt really worth it!

When you write for the blog I will not oppress any views you have on a subject, though I may argue against them if i do not agree, but it will be via the comments. The only reason I would delete a post is if i felt it would endanger the already limited popularity of my blog. I am not the kind of person to refuse someone the right to voice their opinion on any subject.

22 October 2007

Quite possibly the most brilliant prank ever...

You have to watch this....


11 October 2007

Suicide Boobs

Apparently breast implants have been directly linked to a higher suicide risk. This is not entirely surprising, women who get breast implants tend to have a much lower self esteem in any case.

Where this gets fun is that it has been suggested that women who request cosmetic surgery should be more closely watched for suicidal tendancies. In the future requesting breast implants may be the same as jumping into a straight jacket and running around London with your penis exposed singing 'come on eileen'.

Personally im not a fan of breast implants, natural is the way to go in my opinion. I have gone out with more than one girl who wanted them and the majority of those have been, to put it simply, slightly psychotic.

I do however like the fact that we have yet another example of 'minority report'esque style policing being proposed in our culture. After all taking suicidal people of the streets now may save their lives, but what if someone is wrongly diagnosed?

Of course they are not looking at instantly arresting anyone who requests implants, but they are suggesting local GPs are informed, and psychological testing and treatment being provided prior to all surgery.

Time will tell I guess.

10 October 2007

It seems Aussies really do solve all their problems with alcohol.

"Mate, this Dunderheads only tried to top himself"

"Give him a drink, he'll be right"


Australian doctors used an intravenous feed of vodka to keep an Italian tourist alive after he consumed large quantities of a poisonous substance.

The 24-year-old man, in an apparent bid at self-harm, had swallowed ethylene glycol, found in antifreeze, which can cause death. Doctors administered pure alcohol, the conventional antidote, but exhausted the hospital's supply.

Desperate to continue the treatment the doctors at Mackay Base Hospital in Queensland state hooked up an intravenous feed of vodka, hospital officials said.

"The patient was drip-fed about three standard drinks an hour for three days in the intensive care unit," Dr Todd Fraser said in a statement on Wednesday.

"Fortunately for him he was in a medically induced coma for a good portion of that. By the time he woke up I think his hangover would have well and truly gone," Fraser said.

"The hospital's administrators were also very understanding when we explained our reasons for buying a case of vodka."

The Italian man was treated in the hospital two months ago and has since made a successful recovery. News of his treatment was only released on Wednesday.

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09 October 2007

Day 2 - Boulogne to Strasbourg

After waking up and vacating the weary hostel slightly late we made our way to the car, which fortunately had not been broken into. Boulogne looked a much nicer city in the soft daylight, however it was time to head off to Strasbourg, a historic city on the border of France and Germany, exactly on the border infact. Actually it s so close to the border that you can drive over a bridge in what looks like the middle of a city and suddenly find you have driven through passport control.

Strasbourg is a beautiful city, the rivers are lined with luxury boats and just over the road is the German town of Kehl, unsurprisingly similar in basic style, but still with its slight differences, for instance I suddenly didn't have the faintest what the signs meant, at least in France I had been able to dredge my knowledge of under funded school French

As we arrived at Strasbourg after a gruelling day (For Keith) Driving across France we were glad of the sight before us, the hostel, a bed and a shower would not be far away. Oh how wrong we were. After getting lost several times looking for the 'beautiful world famous gardens' within which our hostel would be we eventually found we managed to find the place. It looked very quite. Too Quiet....

Initially I had found this hostel using my internet browser on my phone, little did I realise at this point that browsing approximately 5 webpages had cost me about £20, at this point I would like to make a brake in my story to raise two fingers and say, ahem FUCK YOU O2. But yes, the hostel guide we had brought informed me of something which the internet had not. The hostel was closed for refurbishment. Infact both of strasbourg's hostels where closed for refurbishment. You may have noticed I missed out a capital S in that last sentence, it was not a mistake, the city did not deserve it. Especially when I realised the second hostel was also closed for refurbishment.

There was a third, but the directions in the youth hostel guide are next to useless, so we took a quick look in Kehl, were our hopes of hostel reprieve were momentarily brought to bear. We found a promising hostel in the guide, quite a large one. At this moment in time we were praising the Germans, but we still couldn't find the hostel. After a long weary drive around the city several times we decided to call it a night and headed to MacDonald's to relieve ourselves after the arduous travels of the day.

It was while Keith was in the bathroom I approached a German man who looked like he might know the city, hoping for some vague directions to the youth hostel.

This mans name was Harold

That should have been warning enough.

So after I attempted to speak my weak German to him, despite knowing all of 'hallo' and 'spreken zeee engelish' it turned out Harold could speak English quite well, well enough to take the piss out of the French for their abysmal knowledge of the language.

Harold was a pretty friendly guy, maybe just a little too friendly, but he said that he would drive to the hostel and we could follow in our car. At this point I was not worried, however when he stopped in a deserted street with a dark grassy park beyond a couple of ominous concrete bollards I began to have my first doubts. Needless to say I was just a little relieved when, as walking through a deserted park with a strange man I saw the familiar blue sign of the YHA over the horizon. Not so welcome was the darkened look of the reception. after trying the aged buzzer several times Harold finally got an answer from a gruff half asleep German on the intercom. This man in no uncertain terms spoke rapid angry German to Harold which probably involved where the weary English travellers could stick their needs of a bed for the night, and that we had missed reception close by about half an hour. Utter. Cunt.

As we walked back to the car I started to become a little worried, Harold was offering to drive us all over looking for a new hostel, he was infact one of those people who are just a little too helpful for comfort. After a cursory glance in the back of his car it also seemed as if he lived in it, not a good sign. Especially when he started offering to show us car parks to sleep in...

After he took us to a train station car park he left, probably utterly disappointed that neither me or Keith had offered to bend over for him. By a unanimous decision we decided that a train station car park with only a thin pane of glass between us and Harold when he knew our exact location was not an ideal sleeping spot. We headed off towards Munich and found quite possibly the most amazing service station ever to sleep in...

05 October 2007


I will be completely honest with you, after seeing yet another story where someone has got penalised for justly defending themselves I am continuing to lose faith in this once great country.

It wasnt that long ago that if a man came upto you and punched you, then you would be completely justified in knocking him to the ground. Now of course you will receive a worse punishment than the attacker.

Of course things are changing slightly for the better, if you find someone breaking into your house you can now apprehend him, whereas before you had to let him steal everything before you called the police (Who would then fail to do anything because there was so little chance of them catching anyone with the resource they allocate to house breakins) maybe if they did spot CSI type investigations on a percentage of random crimes it would help. I know I'd think twice about peeing in the street if there was a 3% chance of a SWAT team breaking down my door the next morning and handing me a £30 fixed penalty notice while some big bastard is pointing a machine gun in my face with one hand and rubbing my face in the carpet with the other.

I think it is every mans right to defend themselves and their property, it should be on all occasions the attacker who is at fault. If someone trespasses on your property then you should hold no liability as to what happens to them. Take stories like the man who fell through a screen roof while attempting to steal from warehouse, the worst thing in my mind that his attempt to sue the owner of the property managed to get to court. Seriously this kind of thing gets right on my tits.