How to get a payrise

I have been working in the business world now, and have discovered that the following seems to be a widely practiced, and fairly efficient way of getting a payrise.

First, whatever job you do, change the process so you are the only person who fully understands it, also make sure the system fails completely if anyone else gets it wrong.

Secondly, Make sure any documentation is poorly written and hard to follow.

Thirdly, Leave the company for a higher paying job, doesnt matter if you dont like it.

Lastly, when your old company comes abck to you begging you to return, say you like your job at the moment and it pays much better, The rest? Relies on your negotiating skills.

*Disclaimer: I will not be held responisible in any way shape or form if people follow this and it doesnt work. *