06 November 2006

Best chat up line in the universe?

On friday I went to partake in a few beverages with some friends of mine who are solicitors.

One of my mates who shall remain nameless for this post is a happily married man, child on the way but was however sypathetic with my currently single status so agreed to be my wingman.

So as per usual we went over to two cute looking blonde lasses, introduced ourselves and started conversing, they told us who they where (I cant remember that) what they did (I also cant remember that) and then asked us the same question,

"Well I work for ***, I just deal with finances and stuff like that"

Then my mate, in all his glory said,

"Im a gynocologist, I look at vaginas all day"

"Vaginas?" one of the blondes said, looking ever so slightly scared.

then, this bit quite surprised me,

"What kinds of vaginas have you seen?" the other blonde said,

"Big ones, small ones, furry ones, shaved ones, green dripping ones" He said, at this point I very nearly punched him.

"So I take it you know what your doing down there?" she said

"Not really, if it ever swells up give me a call"

and the conversation moved away from teh topic.

worst thing is it worked,

even worse thing is I buggered it up, said ild be back in a second, bumped into a mate from college on the way and ended up talking to him for twenty minutes, by the time I had got back they had left, damnit!


Moo said...

Very good! I like that, its better than a chat up line. Cheese is not good.

Oli said...

I tend to just talk to the lady in question and it works, however in future I will remember to claim myself as a vagina expert.

Jezebelsriot said...

Yeah, we tend to like it when guys talk, it's like our cryptonite.

I'd be unnerved by dating a vagina inspector. I don't like the idea of a man knowing more about vagina than me. And why aren't there any dick inspectors?

Oli said...

ok, maybe i phrased that wrong, I talk a little bit then ask loads of questions, acting interested is like the female viagra.