18 August 2006

Keeping the blog alive

Ok, i dont want to lose my limited readerbase so im gonna attempt to do a participation thread.

I want everyone to give their best jokes for

English man, Scotsman and an Irish man,

Knock knock, whos there?

& One freestyle

Go for it.


Moo said...
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Moo said...

There's an Englishman, Irishman, and Scotsman all talking about their teenage daughters.

The Englishman says: " I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day & I found a packet of cigarettes. I was really shocked, I didn't even know she smokes!

The Scotsman says: "That's nothing. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other days when I found a half full bottle of Vodka. I was really shocked, I didn't even know she drank!"

With that the Irishman says: "Both of you have got nothing to worry about. I was cleaning my daughter's room the other day when I found a packet of condoms. I was really shocked. I didn't know she had a willy!"
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Goat who?
Goat to the door and find out!
"Doctor, everytime I sneeze I have an orgasm!"
"Are you doing anything for it?"

"Snorting pepper."

Oli said...

Reminds me of the
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking, and discussing how stupid their wives were. The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought £250 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a fridge to keep it in." The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent £17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!" The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both walked through the stupid forest and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every toime oi tink of it," he chuckles. "Moy woife just left to go on a holiday in Greece. Oy watched her packing her bag, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn't even have a penis!"

Oli said...

Il Put mine in jsut to kick help kick it off a bit =p

A Scotsman, Englishman and an irishman although already in the forces decided they'd join the S.A.S. Upon being called for an interview the recruiting sergeant explained that in order to be accepted into the special air services they must agree without hesitation to carry out any order whatever it may be, no questions just do it. All agreed no problem anything at all. Right say's the sarge to the englishman here's a gun go into the room next door and shoot the first person you see. Off he goes 2 mins later he's back "sarge i can't do it, it,s my wife for chris'sakes" No good to us get out. Next in goes jock 2 mins later back out puts gun on table " i cannae do it, it's my wee hen i willnae shoot my wife" Sarge say's no good to us get out. Sarge gives the gun to the irishman and sends him into the room the next thing "Bang Bang" followed by shouting and screaming, then silence .Next thing out comes the irishman hair all tossed, face bleeding waving the gun madly about. "Some ejit idiot loaded that fekking gun with blanks, I had to break her damn neck.

Knock knock

Whos there


Dishes who

Dishes a very bad joke

(I was never any good at knock knock jokes)

After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough,as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one, the husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.

So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand...