26 November 2007

Two Vaginas

I have noticed a worrying trend while analysing my web stats. I have a consistent, regular and all over worryingly high number of visitors who search for phrases including the words 'three testicles' This is most likely to do with my post entitled Il have kidney, liver and three testicals.

Therefore I have decided to name this post Two Vaginas, im not fussy about the kind of visitors I receive at the moment, hell ild just be happy to receive a visitor. So to the sick bastard who is hoping for a mutated woman who could quite possibly be on the blob for TWO WEEKS! out of the month, you have been mislead into increasing my hit count by one, I think I speak for all when I say Mwoahaahahahaha.

In other news I have been off alcohol for two weeks now with only two exceptions. First off was the success of our pub quiz team, this entitled each of our members to a free pint, huzzah. No man could turn this down.

The second was when my flat mate snuck some vodka into my coke, I thought it tasted funny. I think he wanted to get me relaxed a bit for introduction to one of his, admittedly quite fit mates, unfortunately im still reeling from the break up of a 7 month relationship. This left me not really wanting to be chatting up the girl and completely lacking in my random patter which is the staple base of any good chat up. She had a cute brunette mate though, much more my type at the moment, I went off the dolled up look a long time ago.

It seems kind of weird. I used to love the long legged blondes, would chase them to hell and back. This lasted so long that even now when people ask what kind of girls I like, my automatic reaction is just to say tall blondes. This was a bit of a sticking point with me and my ex, I told her blondes, just when she asked I replied automatically, and how do you change your mind on a subject like that with your then girlfriend?

She mentioned several times how she was not my type, when she infact was. Maybe I should have corrected myself, but it would have looked too much like I was schmoozing. I like women who are naturally beautiful, not dolled up, just perfect the way they are.

Although cute brunettes do do it for me. I think its the eyes, I fucking love eyes, I don't know why.

I could go into a rant similar to Jeff of coupling here, 'but I don't collect eyes, its not like I have an eye bucket or anything, that would be mental' But the fact of the matter is when I looked into my ex's eyes my heart melted. Damn im a soft touch, another casualty to the new found world of metro sexuality. Again the ex's fault, I never used to be this much of a pussy.

Think that's today's ramble over.

2 comments:

The Inky Thinker said...

She might be on for two weeks out of every month, but one of them (the vaginas) would always be in action right?

I have never searched on that by the way, it just got me thinking.

FOUR DINNERS said...

At my age it's all I can do to get up one....