Weekend

Thank fuck for that.

40 minutes to go

So close but yet so far

39 minutes to go

Really want to go out tonight

Fucking boring mates

Fucking skint bank account

...

I might try and get some money together to go skiing abroad next year, I miss the alps, want to goto a different mountain range this time though, can anyone offer some advice on the best place to ski?

Not much

Not much has happened over the last week so I am going to take this gap to plug my new site, im looking for any feedback, positive, negative or even abusive. The target audience isnt for you internet savvy bloggers, more for the old dears who have no idea how to use the internet, like my parents for example.

Anyway, have a gander on http://www.thebargainbin.co.uk

For the Ladies...

Micheal Jackson Making a Theme Park in Ireland?

Apparently Micheal Jackson is going to make a theme park in ireland, based around lephrechauns. Personally I think the charges against him for peadophillia were false, the families that have tried to prosocute him all have a history of trying to extort, blackmail and take advantage of celebrities. Infact most of the other families defended MJ. I do think he was confused, he grew up sharing a bed with all his brothers and sisters, and had very little fun since his dad pushed him during all his free time to dance and sing.

How many of us after sleeping with someone in your arms (not a child) for months, suddenly found yourself sleeping without them for a day, know that feeling of lonlyness? MJ spent hsi childhood sleeping in the same bed as his brothers and sisters, playing with them in that locale (in a none dirty way)

Maybe he does just miss that aspect of his childhood, maybe he is in fact lonely?

Despite the fact I think he is innocent I think creating a theme park is the most ill advised thing he could do, especially since most of the staff it will seem will be leprechauns (small child like?)

Not to mention his financial woes, the adverse publicity against this will most likely make this dream of MJ's a failure, how many parents would take their children to a theme park originating from an accused child molestor?

MJ may have good intentions but the poor bloke never grew up.

Dirty Sanchez

This film was a bunch of welshman engaging in cannabilsm, self inflected pain, lady boys and hard ass sumo wrestlers, the degenerative tone of this film was disgraceful and the content was childish slap stick humour of the most disgusting kind.

Must see film, 5 stars, could have done without the chicks with dicks.

Sex, Drugs and ReligionBashing Debate

over the months I have been posting on this blog I have noticed many different aspects of what kind of topics people comment on, and some that im surprised they ignore.

Sex blogs seem to do the best, pulling in more commentors than any other kind of blog, every one of them perving over the blog but pretending not infact to be a pervert. I would go for the sex blog aspectbut at the moment the minimum time between posts would at least be a format, the only work around for this would to be a sex change operation and a blonde wig, only then could I hope to compete with the popularity of NFGirl and Ellie etc

Drugs also seems to eb a hot topic, on the rare occasion I have posted about the subect I get at least one self rightious prick telling me how bad drugs are and one person telling me how he takes cocain, heroin, a tonne of weed a night and paracetamol.

Racial Bashing is also a hot topic, everyone seems to get stirred up whenever someone posts a blog bashing religion, they get loads of posts, compared to when somebody posts objectively about religion and how people view other religions, which no-one seems to be interested in.

So here is todays post,

PORN! 2 hot lesbians Rawr, naked chicks SEX! Lets all get high on crack and perfume woohoo, I hate fucking scientology, the aliens didnt come down and fuck a money to spawn the human race, retards.

Religious Tolerance or Religious Indifference

A few posts back I said i would do a post on this, its not going to be very long as it isnt a huge topic, but I would like to hear your views about the subject.

The government is constantly pushing religious tolerence, however i disagree with this as saying you have to tolerate something automatically segregates you from it.

What i think should be pushed, in a more subtle way, is religious indifference, a persons religion should make no difference to how that person is viewed. The majority of people already show a high degree of religious indifference, but how can you tell how indifferent someone really is?

Take the school teacher who became a suicide bomber, he was a teacher so must ahve had a high level of religious tolerence, if not indifference. All the people who knew him said he was well balanced and a respected member of society, then he goes and blows a load of people up (On a bus or a plane or something) This makes me suspect that he was only being tolerant, and that working in a class room sends all teachers a bit whacko eventually, i know i feel kinda sorry for all the teachers at my school had to deal with some right little shits (me included).

Of course it is hard to catagorise this as a religious issue, true it is their religious beliefs making them attack us, however they dont seem to be against the religion, more the west. You never hear them saying christianity is their biggest threat dispite the number of religious attrocities they have commited against them, they all ways claim the US is their enemy and that britain is its lap dog (That latter part a least is correct)

Of course what the terrorists dont seem to realise is that they dont really terrorise us (as pointed out by mr angry ) They tend to just disrupt us, make our flights more inconvenient cause trafic jams etc.

But back to the point,

Would you class any current violence as not enough erligious tolerance, since some people obviously arn't tolerant enough, or religious indifference since some peolpe actually resent other religions.

WMD's

Todays post is about the greatest annoyance currently in my life - WMD's

Not the GWB Iran & Iraq type WMD's, im talking about Washing Machine Disasters.

Last night I realised I was lacking a suitably clean pair of trousers for work today, I pick out a washing machine friendly one and get it into teh wash.

I wake up this morning and put my nice clean fresh trousers on, only to find they show offmy shins. This amounted to me shouting bollocks and being 5 minutes late from work, however it got me thinking.

Millions of people around the world suffer from WMDs, the Disruptionists (terrorists for the uninitiated) give me nowhere near as much grief as washing clothes. Therefore I put to it that the billions we are currently spending in the middle east wars should be diverted into making clothes that can easily be washed dried and even put on without needing ironing.

DOWN WITH WMD's

Religious Hypocracy

This has been a well discussed topic, but I think it is well worth the discussion as it is topic that interests me. Religion is always a touchy ground with many people, I personally am not religious, but am a firm believer that people should be allowed to believe what they want.

Where this causes problems is when the religions conflict, some areas more dramatically than others, however when places of work start banning christmas decorations, and antire school systems start insisting people use the term 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Happy Christmas' I think things are going too far.

While I am not christian I think the current way they are being forced to bend over for the fear of offending other religions is disgraceful. While I dont expect other religions to fully embrace christmas I wouldnt expect them to complain, if you dont like it leave a country that is multi religion.

My personal view is that peple should be allowed to celebrate their religions own holidays how they see fit, and be considerate to other religions but certainly not supress them. If a muslim, jew etc started showing support of their religion I wouldnt bat an eyelid, if they complained that showing support to a different religion was offending them however I would be drawn into an argument.

Britain is a multi cultural society, I think this is a fantastic thing, it gives us an amazing range of foods, experiences and understandings. Before people come to a multi cultural britain though they first must accept that it is multicultural, and that people must be considerate to the other peoples views, and that they will be exposed almost daily to peolpe with differnt religions and views on life.

Hence why if i was a chrstian I would have sued the bollox off of any company that restricted my religion, if christians have to call happy christmas happy holidays whydoesnt the government insist that all religious occasions be given an ambiguous name, happy egg giving day, dance like a pillock around a pole day etc should all be candidates.

I know this post sounds very Pro-christianity, but from my viewpoint i think teh world has now grown out of religion, it should be left behind. I dont think christianity is special in that respect, but I do think that they are being very unfairly treated jsut because minority religions in the UK believe different things. Ii does not seem right that organisations will offend christians because they are afraid of offending the others.

Ring Tones

I am becoming more and more annoyed with ringtones, I have in my travels heard everything from a tony blair speach to the sounds of someone having sex to some guy repeating swear words in a monotone voice (which the group of 14 year olds fonud highly amusing)

Personally my phones always on vibrate, and i dont mind normal ring tones, but some of them really get on my tits.

Of course ring tones do have their upside, the people who sell them get away with charging obscene amounts of money for 15 second audio clips, which you can normally get off the ol' t'internet for free anyway.

In other news the numa numa guy made a new video, seeing a fat guy in glasses dance to numa in his bedroom was funny, seeing him attempt a proffesional video just destroyed my faith in humanity (http://www.newnuma.com I think)

I have become addicted to machine soup, i dont know why, but the chemically taste just has me hooked, i am however slightly worried that the soup has a cappachino froth on it, hence its new nick name in our office "Soupachino"

Treat your mother right

A little something to get you through thursday

To Tracy

You were at leeds fest and you didnt ring me =O

Please note the following though,

A) Congratulations you got a personal post on my blog, a rare achievement!
B) Hope you get better soon, I still have a pretty bad cough!
C) Give me the name of a good opticians
D) How come its taken you so long to look at my blog again, ild kick your ass if I wasnt afraid of your humongous snake coming after me anaconda style.
E) Send me those piccies! Do you have my gmail address? (I havn't been online much so seem to have lost touch with loadsa people from the whole school/college era)
F) You still havn't come visited my new place, we shall have to go on a york drinking session!

Specs

Well, hate to say this, but the incredibly sexy Oli you know and love will very soon be slightly less sexy, but able to see your face.

After several years of intense VDU use it appears I have become short sighted, and hence need glasses, some people look good in glasses... I do not.

How did I find this out?

I was out drinking on my birthday and tried my mates glasses on, everything went into focus, this kinda made me think *Uhoh*

I am having a bit of a wrangle concerning my employers (Who say the company they contract me out to should pay) and my contractees who are being pretty good about things, and are willing to take it as a favour, however I would be losing out on a difference of £60 if i took the easy option.

Being from Yorkshire im tight enough with 60p, nevermind 60 quid so I intend to persue this with employer in the hope of resolving this without bothering my union.

Does anyone have any advice on good/bad opticians to use?

Coercion or Concerned

After coming across http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/5323894.stm on the bbc site today I was fairly confused by this sentance.

"For example, if a woman has a partner or relative with a genetic illness that they feel research would eventually help to cure, she might feel under pressure to donate her eggs to aid research."

Now correct me if im wrong, but the headline for this paragraph is Coercion is it just me or does this seem slightly propoganda-ish. They seem to be saying that a woman whos husband has cancer or similar is being coerced into donating eggs to a cause which may save her husbands life? I would not call that coercion, I would call that concern.

There are many groups that oppose stem cell research and donation of eggs for this, there is a group called "hands off our ovaries", what a load of bullshit. It should be the womans choice if she wants to give up her eggs to help others, and if it increased the chance of saving a family member I would not blame her in the slightest.

Then there was this paragraph, relating to an extremely rare disease,
"Josephine Quintavalle, co-founder of the Hands Off Our Ovaries group, said: "Eggs for research is an absolute no-no. The risks are too significant. The cost of even one woman's life is not worth it." "

Now correct me if im wrong, but is this woman trying to say that no woman should be allowed to undergo the treatment for donating eggs, even if it could save their childs life in the future?

What kind of person would try and prevent a person making their own personal sacrifice, of their decision to save the lives of millions of others in the future, I dont think someone should be told they HAVE to donate their eggs, neither am I saying the donations WILL save millions, but every donation would bring the scientists that one step closer, but someone saying that they should not even have the choice is a fucking disgrace from where im standing.

The woman says that its not worth even one life, how many womens lives are claimed by cancer? already the most reliable treatment for breast cancer has arisen from research based on stem cells, would this woman gladly sacrifice all those people?

What a Bitch.

Back to the Real World

Well, second day back at work and im already knakered, glad of the week and a bit off I had though.

Along with arriving back at work comes the knowledge that

- I need to tidy some of the house, including my bedroom (Shithole)
- I need to wash pretty much all of my clothes, and spend a couple of days ironing.
- I need more sleep
- I should have eaten my birthday cake before it went off.


Yes, thats right, my birthday was over the weekend, I am now a fully fledged 22 year old so feel free to send me gifts!

Other news?

I had a cracking time at leeds fest, my new tent stood upto the challenges of festival life (such as salad cream fights, drunken falling over, flying lit disposable bbq's and such.) which was a bonus as my last one ended up destroyed in a heap with moz (a boy scout leader) jumping in to save the tent poles.

I went to see Snakes on a Plane on sunday, it was alright, run of the mill action film with snakes eating everything from flying dogs to genitalia. There seemed to be quite a few decent trailers before hand, so hopefully there will be a few more good films coming our way soon.

Anyway, back to work!

For the fan(s?)

Ok, I have woke up slightly drunk still, as it was my 22nd yesterday. I will be going out tonight with all my mates from selby too, cant wait =D.

Leeds festival was damn good, though I picked up a rather annoying cold after watching the (surprisingly brilliant) Muse in a thunderstorm. I say surprisingly because I have never been a massive fan of Muse.

After the poor response to the joke post I have decided that the reason for this was because of the knock knock joke. They just arnt funny, I spent ages thinking of one and the one i finally came up with (googled) sucked as well. So yeah kudos to Mookie who apparently is the only funny person who stumbled across my blog.

Anyway my bed is calling me so I shall post again on monday.

Last Minute Hell

Fucking last minute grrrr

Thanks to them im off to leeds festival on friday, not tomorrow, crap customer service, tickets only arrived today, day before i wanted to go so no time to get this fixed, at least tehir name is accurate, fucking slow cunts.

Never ever buy anything from lastminute.com

Im normally a laid back person, but right now I want to punch someone, next time im going to the touts, least they give you what they need and give better customer service.

Too angry to type, will fill in the details later.

Off to Exotic Leeds

Leeds fest =D

No tickets yet =(

Best be here for tomorrow!

Pirates of the Carribbean 2 = good film

Free Bars = bad but in a good way

Despite my previous conceptions a guy who brings a lightsaber to a work bash can infact be funny.

Kiera Knightly would get it, oohhhh yes.

My tickets still havnt come..

I really should start packing

It always rains as soon as the BBQ is lit

Wheres my fucking tickets.

Anyway, yeah that was my weekend.

Keeping the blog alive

Ok, i dont want to lose my limited readerbase so im gonna attempt to do a participation thread.

I want everyone to give their best jokes for

English man, Scotsman and an Irish man,

Knock knock, whos there?

& One freestyle

Go for it.

Writers block

I think I may have writers block, its not that nothings happening My life is currently so busy I had to tell a beautiful blonde girl that I couldnt come over when she had the house to herself for two weeks because im damn busy at work and its two of my best mates birthdays over the weekend.

Im an idiot arn't I...

Anyhow my posting may be a little less infrequent over the next week or two - not a full head on quiting posting for a while like the sexyfull NFGirl, but I am literally too tired busy or drunk to make a huge amount of posts, this seems to be a re-occuring theme as the ever cute Katy also seems to be taking a break.

Anyhow just so you know where I am at the moment the following words should give you some idea

Monotenous
Skint
Pissed
Tired

Think about sums it up

Was thinking last night about a girl from sheffield I completely fell for, now engaged shes off the market and I would never even attempt to dredge up old feelings, like her that much i want her to be happy, damn my soppy side. I keep thinking about last time I saw her and how perfect she looked. Weird how you know nothing can happen but you feel glad for the little you did have.

In other news I would like to wish Andy and Luke a very happy birthday - two of the bdays over the next couple of weeks, I would also like to call them bastards for skinting me out just before leeds fest.

I aws thinking of setting up an amazon wish list, in the safe and happy knowledge that no one would ever actually buy anything off it, but I would nevertheless like, such as the full friends and james James Bond dvd box sets, a BMW, new laptop and computer, a few gold bars and an alexpenses paid holiday to hawaii.

Also a paypal button for you all to give me any money you can spare, which will make me a millionaire of course!

Weekends

Weekends are just not long enough, seriously, dont have enough time to get everything done, and by the time it gets to monday im more knakered than I was on the Friday before.

Fortunately I have a holiday coming up - Thank God

For the leedsfest weekend I have a good week and a half off, 5 days of which I will be sat in a field trying to avoid the toilets while listening to good music, moshing, jumping, drinking and for an hour or two, sleeping.

Will any of my readers be visiting the Leeds (Or reading for you southerners) Festival this year?

'Equal Rights'

I dont often partake in hugely controvertial topics, however there are some things that just get me down right pissed off.

Firstly Disabled people in working environments, sure, but when they cant actually do the job due to being mentally or physically disabled? what the fuck.

The first instance I am going to comment on is regarding a factory in the midlands which turned down a man who had a disability with walking and stability, after taking the company to court he won a huge compensation and the factory was ordered to employ him. About a month later they guy died after falling into a piece of machinery, the disabled mans family is now trying to take teh company to court for allowing him to work in an unsafe environment..

The second story I read was a london company that employed a vegtable in a body near enough, he could only speak a few words of english had very little awareness of things happening around him and yet was employed by this company to 'up its quota' of disabled people, the government is worried about the state of our economy? then why force our companies to employ people who have no role???

In the same vein, women who lobbied to get into working mens clubs. for years the only retreat where men could remove themselves from the female personality, a place I would ahve loved to have been, alas I was too late.

Fucking Spam Comments

Im ever so slightly pissed off at the number of spam comments ive been getting over teh last couple of weeks. I could put word verification on, but thats just plain annoying to my (very few) Real commentors. So when I get a dozen people saying there are some links of interest, they have found cheap viagra, i liked your post check out this and similar it makes me quite simply want to sue some arse.

Unfortunately this is not that easy, in most cases they are not doing anything technically illegal, I could get them under the numerous new spam laws that are currently working their way through the legal system, however for a small site such as mine, and the fact that the few legal highers would probably view spam as email only, if they are entirely sure what its about, mean that I would most likely be on a hiding to nothing.

On a happier note I won a second prize off a competitions site today, I was pretty chuffed about that, first one was for £375, tis one was only for £50, stil not too bad though!

Weekend Randomness

Well my weekend of all work and no play turned into a day of work (while slightly drunk) and two nights of getting absolutely sloshed, how sloshed? Flares, Reflex, Ziggies and the gallery all in one night, after shots pints and bottles in Yates's, Evil Eyeand a few other random boozers.

All in all a good night, friday was just getting mashed in a couple of pubs.

But for now I need to answer the following question, knowing the terrible state of my bank account, the fact im working over the weekend, and that I was feeling quite ill, WHY CANT I ONLY STAY OUT FOR A COUPLE!

Subway Staff The Slow, The Speedy and the Sexy

I have been eating subway quite a lot recently, the fact that subway is infact proably the healthiest regular meal I have should tell you a lot about my life. Subway has always been one of my favorite fast foods, Meatball Marinara for cold weather, Italian BMT For summer, and loadsa variations to keep things interesting. I always worry about the staff though, some seem to have no idea of how to make a sandwich, and when I did that I soon formed three catagories in which to fit Subway workers.

The Slow:

These ones tend to have to ask you everything twice, always cock up your sandwich and occasionally seem to wipe their nose absentmindedly jsut efore picking out the lettuce for you.

The Speedy:

What you always hope for, fast efficient and make a beautiful sub

The Sexy:

So damn fine you spend more time glancing at her top half than what she is making, its only till later you can figure out if she should have been in group one or two.

Have I missed anything?

Quick question

On the subject of my last post I thought I would test my readers knowledge, the first person with the correct answer wins a virtual pat on the back

There was a bear photographer who left his tent and walked a mile south. He then turned and walked a mile east and turned again and walked a mile north and found himself back at his tent. He saw a bear. What colour was the bear?

Mensa

I had a look on the mens website today, hoping that maybe I could find a quick resume filler and finally making use of that high IQ of mine, which does believe it or not, exist.

So I read the first paragraph of boomph abou the entry requirements

"1 in 50 people have an IQ in the top 2% that makes them eligible to join Mensa. "

I promptly left, any club of super smart people who need the fact that 1 in 50 = 2% pointing out really isnt something that I want to be a part of, begone retarded mensa.

How to spend too muc money on a weekend

15+ shots of sambucca
30 + Pints
20 + Bottles
4 Random coctails
4 shots of something that the guy behind the bar has just used to blow fire out of his mouth
1 pack of paracetamol.

Training

Personally I like to improve myself, learning new things so i can make more money, with the ultimate goal of retiring at the age of 35.

Training is an obvious step for this, weer not talking a levels, degrees, crap like that. I want to go for some propper training in a project and IT management sector.

This is where it gets tricky.

Even the lowest of the respected qualifications require about 4 grand for a three day course, and unfortunately work will not be likely to shell out for this kind of training, the kind that puts me into competition is very unlikely to get approved by them, but without taking a loan out there is very little way I will be able to afford this in the near future.

Donations welcome =p

Kickbacks & 100th Post!

First things first, this is my 100th post, never before would I have imagined I could write so much useless shite. unlike some other bloggers however I will not post my landmark post just about the fact it is my 100th post, I will write a bit about my office life.

One of the perks of my job is that I do get occasional perks when dealing with my suppliers.
Last week I got a box of quality street, a big one at that, next week im expecting chocolates and champagne. Personally I don't see anything wrong with this, it doesn't change my opinion or decision making, but it is nice to know that suppliers are willing to go that extra length to get on your good side.

However there is a downside, in office life there is always that level of competitiveness and sniping that comes with the office culture being dominated by psychopaths. I personally tend to avoid this, I fly on the straight and narrow, im honest with people, and it doesn't always work in my favour.
Unfortunately it doesn't stop people picking up on the gifts I receive, and spreading the word that I receive kickbacks. I think this is not only the wrong term, but a much dirtier term for the gifts I receive. I would class a kickback as a large gift that I received for choosing a supplier, them wining a bid, getting money, and giving me a cut of that. I don't see how a box of roses or similar will make me change a decision that would cost the company money, especially when I try to keep up an effective reputation to increase my pay packet.

What would your opinion be from the outside looking in?