Girlfriend

So after a lot of drinks at a double birthday for some bouncers (Twins) I got back with an ex.

Yes I know that is complete betrayal of my self esteem.

Yes I know it will probably end badly.

But on the plus hand she has an amazingly cute smile.

The downside is that prior to this i went through a state of bacholourism. This means that my room is littered with empty polistyrene containers, pizza boxes and the like, not to mention clothes scattered here there and everywhere.

So at somepoint, with sex being on the upcoming agenda, I need to tidy things up. This in itself is a feat measurable to that of reaching peace in Iraq, and has the opportunity fror more casualties.

Needless to say I need to get this cleared up asap.

But I. just. cant. be. arsed.

Downloading Movies

I am not particularly criminal like but a few years back I may have downloaded the odd film from the internet ‘sans’ payment. After all they were easily accessible, fast and free to get!

Unfortunately now days things have changed, the film companies are cracking down and all my old methods of downloading have become unreliable, slow and virus ridden. Any attempt usually leaves you with either the wrong film or a horrendously poor quality film.

I spent a fair few hours looking around last night and was surprised to find that there are now several cheap legal and quick services to download full DVD Movies available, hell I just got Batman Begins, a film I always wanted to see for $1.99 that’s around a £1 to us Brits!

The best one I found was http://www.myvideolib.com/ This site is bloody brilliant, I am downloading full length DivX Movies like Superbad at the moment which cost me a mere $2.99, not bad for one of the funniest movies I saw last year!

It’s nice to see that the film companies have finally cottoned on that by releasing films at a much lower cost they can actually sell a LOT more of them!

The fact of the matter is I don’t mind paying a couple of quid for a film, paying £20 ($40) is what I object to! Fortunately there are some good sites to legally download full length movies which are a godsend, cheap good quality films at a price that doesn’t leave my wallet empty!

Lunch

I went to sit by the river for my dinner today, the benches were full of old ladies and tourists, those that didn't have a bench hovered expectantly around one until it became available.

So governed by the laws of laziness I opted out of mad dashes for bench space and sat on the riverbank, a cobbled edge sloping down to a lower platform that runs by the river.

The sun was shining, the ladies walking by were particularly fine and I munched away feeling good about the world.

It was only when I got back to my desk at work when I noticed the unmistakable smell of river. Its not a horrendous smell. Its not a pleasant smell, its not even a powerful smell. It is just that smell that seems to pervade everywhere around you, giving the area around you that slight classic leaf mould smell that has never successfully sold as a fragrance for a reason.

Needless to say it seems that one of the rivers more recent floods must have coated the bank with a good ol' layer of river dirt that seeped into my trousers.

Bloody Brilliant...

Let the Sun Shine!

It seems like summer has finally arrived I thought.

As I donned my short sleeved shirt and went to eat my lunch down by the river, letting the sun radiate over my body and the breeze cool my skin.

Yet it was not the sun nor the shirt that signified the start of summer. It was the women.

Despite all probability there seems to be a type of woman who only appears during summer. When the weather is poor I think they migrate to warmer climates on tehir Daddy's credit card, however when the weather in good ol' Britain is good tehy come out in droves.

If you do not know what I am talking about you are either female or a gay.

As I sat by the river I saw stunner after stunner walk by my bench. All of them significantly out of my league and most definately out of my price range.

This revelatino came after a weekend of relaxation, I did nothing. For several MOnths now I have been working incredibly hard and so far it has netted me a regular £2 a day. Doesn't seem like much but it equals a pint a day for the rest of my life pretty much!

So three days of chilling out in the sunshine, playing on the PS2 for the first time in ages, or just watching a few films (Back to the future, I forgot how good the first and third film was, the second may only seem so shite because from the perspective of when the film was made this is the future!)

To be honest I needed the break and it put things back into perspective. I am working at getting my life in order so I dont have to work, or at least dont have to work for 11 months of the year.

I have started looking at my trip around Europe this year, mid summer this time around so it will be HOT, but the snu is calling, the beaches are bein washed by a heated sea and my mind is drifting to the adventures of last year.

I wil update soon on the plan!

Bank Holiday!!!!

Wohooo, its that time again, three days of pure weekend, the weather is good and my mates are playing a gig, so sun music and secx is on the cards, well, maybe not the sex, been dry now for nearly two weeks :(

My lucky bastard of a flat mate met this canadian bird while he was over for a stag do where he discovered his exebitionist side by having a bit of the ol ruff an' tumble in the dorm, then the guy who has the fortuitous luck to do very little work for mucho money has gone off to see her again and they have been sexing along France, Switzeralnd and Munich.

Again - Lucky Bastard.

Ahh well for now I shall situate myself in a beer garden somewhere and get some good ol' relaxation going!

Another Update - Drinking and Scientology

I had a business sponsored drinking session a couple of Fridays back, this involved a huge amount of alcohol and me leaving to meet this girl at around 1am.

She never wants to talk to me again

I can't remember why.

Bugger.

The good thinkg about being an office worker is that there are occasional perks.

I have taken over a technology blog called GeekyWood It's a pretty god blog and I hope to improve it over the next few months with a load of the newest gadgets.

In other news the scientologists seem to have hit it big in the news again by a family who have left the cult. They bring out takes of abuse and intimidation that I think really do personify the cult as the money grabbing brainwashing bully it really is. The fact that Tom Cruise is such a big fan shows that yes, this is a Cult that goes for stupid rich people then bleeds them dry.

The Worst part about this is that they have Tax Free Religious status in the USA, I seriously do not know how the American people have allowed what is in the end nothing but a Multi Level Marketing Campaign where only the top bod collects to become a tax free institute.

In all fairness I am tempted to set up my own religion, send me £10 a month and you too shall receive eternal redumption in my heaven, which is significantly better than the christian heaven which is just plain boring, and marginally better than the Muslim one because the ladies in our heaven wern't so damned ugly that thay never had sex.

Update

I feel like I have been slacking a bit on this blog recently, and I dont think that is going to end anytime soon i'm afraid!

Quick update on my life

- I am working way too much
- I seem to have lost the ability for sleep untill 3am, my mind just keeps going on about whatI could be writing
- I am now ITIL certified
- A cannot remember friday or saturday after a rather horrific amount of alcohol was consumed
- I have realised that to learn songs on keyboard im going to have to lewarn to read sheet music. Bugger.
- I have remembered why I liked playing the field so much, it would have been one more but I vaguely remember making a tit out of myself around a prospective on said friday night.

Workload

As some of you may or may not know I turneed my side job as a freelance writer into a personal career move to write for my own websites. This has proved... Tiring.

I have one website now on course for my £2 a day target that I want all my websites to reach, thats one down and 19 to go till I can quit my day job and take the writing up full time in an attempt to make some very decent money out of this as well.

Tonight however I suffered from something thtat is a rarity for me.. Writers block. I had all the information I needed, i reread the subject and then sat down to write. Nothing came out at all. For nearly 6 hours I have been sat here, unable to write about a subjeect I familiarised myself with.

It may be because I am just absolutely knakered, infact I really hope it is. If this turned into a long term problem it really would scupper my plans of leaving the working world behind and travelling the world.

Fortunately I am pretty certain it is temporary, my words seem to be flowing well enough now I am not thinking too hard about it. Maybe a week or two break is in order, since 18 hour working days are probably not the best thing for anyone!

Flight

The Aussie Ex is now on a plane back to Australia to see her mother.

All my best wishes go out to her at this time.

I wish it had been an Aprils Fool.

Several months ago I was seeing an Australian girl in York. Yesterday her mother had a stroke. Today they decided to pull the plug on the life support machine.

Her mother is in Australia, she is in England. If anyone has a spare ticket or two for her and/or her sister to urgently go and see her mother before she slips away completely please contact me asap, on oli4uk@gmail.com or oh seven eighhht fawe ohh tree seve two 2 fi\/e noine. (Just to stop the spam bots) Yes, I have just given my mobile number out to the random people reading my blog, it is in my view that important.

Just to let you know, while we have split up and I tried to make myself hate her there is no way I would not support her during this time. She is a fantastic girl, and her mother was amazing (She had severe tunnel vision, was legaly blind and still took my ex around Europe). Neither of them deserved this but I wish that I could have helped with more than a hug and an 'It'l be ok', I think the fact that she can no longer go upto her mother one last time, just say her last farewells, is the thing that is hurting her the most.

If anyone can help, please do so, it will be in complete confidence and I will put you in touch with the girl directly if you have any reasoning to suspect that this is a scam.

How the Matrix Really Ended

This is how the matrix REALLY ended!




Crocodile Dundee is a god,I mean come on he took down Neo!

I'm a Pundit

Due to google giving up on this site, removing the main page from its listings and so forth I am going to leave this blog for purely personal topics.

I have created a topical news blog at I'm a Pundit

An Msn Conversation I Just Had

Heathery says:
Haha, 'dear blog, today reveals the horrifying truth that a girl in a far away land wasted away infront of her computer screen after having showed her a picture of my man area*'

Heathery says:
'I then patted myself, that'l do bob, that'l do. Then settled to watch some usual suspects '

*I did not infact show her my man area we were just discussing what would happen if I did.

Tiredness

I dont know if insomnia hits many people but I am yet again finding myself unable to sleep.

I lay in bed, eyes closed. Every so often I look over to see 20 or so minutes have passed.

Its kind of weird, I feel so tired and yet my body refuses to shut down, even for a few hours.

Insomnia is definately weird, I dont know if any treatment exists but right now im thinking of popping down to tescos for some knockout pills.

Has anyone else suffered from this?

I tried counting sheep but when i got to 78 I had a sudden urge for lamb balti so I stopped.

St Patricks Day

It seems that this years St Patricks Day is infact on the 15th, making it a saturday night, not amonday night. This means I get to lay in this St Patricks day!!!

Raid on YAFA (York Action for Animals) In York

http://www.yorkpress.co.uk/news/yorknews/display.var.2108838.0.animal_rights_pair_held.php

Police raided undisclosed locations in York two nights ago and arrested two individuals on charges of harassment. This has been labelled as a terrorist activity due to their membership of York Action for Animals (YAFA) a group that has strong organisations with the ALF (Animal Liberation Front) Who have been responsible for everything from Arson attacks all the way to stealing the remains of a deceased grandmother in order to exert their twisted view of the world upon everyone. ALF have been labelled as terrorist threat by both UK and American Governments.

The YAFA group has been recently linked to the ALF in several ways, from them having a key note speaker who in his past set off a bomb which severely disabeld a young child, all the way to more recent items such as promotion of the ALF on its website (And from the ALF to YAFA) Along with YAFA members writing on the ALF website on topics such as how to hide evidence when planning future illegal opperations.

While I do not condone animal cruelty the YAFA has always seemed to me to be a horrific waste of time and resource. The group regularly goes after soft targets where in most cases they make no difference for a slight push of publicity. At the same time they could have raised money for all kinds of causes .

The ALF is even worse, a terrorist group that values animals lives as more important as humans.
The YAFA has little knowledge of the inside workings of a farm, when questioned hard enough they seem to be unable to comprehend that farmers need to keep animals fit and healthy to turn a profit, and that the aniomals are worth a fair whack and well looked after because of that

When I queried a YAFA member as to whether she had ever worked on a farm before because her knowledge of how animals were looked after seemed to be based on an aged and to be honest completely incorrect view she admitted that she had not, but then she had the gall to say my view was limited because I have only seen the inside of a few farms!

Please tell me how you can justify having no knowledge on a subject is correct and having some knowledge and trying to correct the person with none is (And I quote) 'ignorant'.

Once you get to that stage they bring in the slaughter house, saying how the animals get frightened because they can smell blood, please give me one plausible way how you vould get around that?

The whole meat processing process now has incredibly stringent controls on how animals are treated, they are subject to the least possible stress and harm in the entire production. Not that long ago the animals where put through a lot of pain and suffering which has now been removed to a great extent in the uk.

Another great example of the YAFAs complete inability to even look at facts contradictory to their own is how a police statement over teh dawn raids this week says

"They were suspected of harassment "relating to an incident connected to a restaurant in York". "

""We understand that these complaints do not relate to our demonstrations, and the two individuals deny any wrongdoing," he said. "

Which were co-incidentaly outside said restauraunt.

I have real trouble accepting that a foundation that seems to run on the basis of facism, where any comment contrary to their beliefs is removed and the perpetrator banned. The foundation of any cause is to debate, explain and support its cause. Not refuse to accept any kind of information that is not in support of what they already believe.

The worst part is that a local councillor (Paul Blanchard) shows strong support for this group, how can a group that has such strong relations with terrorist activity supported by our local government?

Poker Night

It turns out I am not the instant card genius I thought I would be.

After playing poker for the first time on friday I left the building 10 pounds shorter, about 20 insult heavier and with a new life lesson under my belt.

Do not drink 12 bottles of Carlsberg Export when money is at stake.

Seriously.

My Brain is Full

The training course I went on was fairly intensive, 2 1/2 days of revision then an exam.

My practice scores were around 35-38 out of 40. I thought I ahd it nailed. Propper exam came, bloody hell it was hard.

Not sure I passed.

Will find out in 2 weeks!

Ahhh well I have some fun filled weekends planned, viva la anglais

Planning my holiday away, cant wait!

Can't think of much to write at the moment, my brain is still fuzzy.

Seeing the girlfriend this weekend, missed the girl have to admit!

Need sleep but i have to work, bah.

Will update properly soon!

Life without internet - TISCALI ARE FUCKING USELESS CUNTS!

I have lost my internet connectivity, this has hugely affected my life in a work, social and boredom sense.

Right now I am at work, so close and yet so far.

I have a mental image of my email, unaccessable from work, slowly filling up. My important messages slowly getting lost in a sea of junk emails...

Dear god.

Tiscali bloody useless technical support have been telling me it will be working in 24 hours 5 days in a row... They always try and query my router, IT'S NOT MY FUCKING ROUTER YOU TWATS.

I think im going to cry.

Another Day

Last night I continued to discover how much of a drinking lightweight I have become.

In November I stopped drinking, needed to save up some cash for a skiing trip in January, in December I fractured my knee ni two places, so couldn't go skiing and couldn't drink. The irony was so thick a mole on speed could not have dug through it.

At a Christmas work bash on the 24th I had 2 pints, I then went to bed and fell straight to sleep. Admittedly I was on painkillers at this point but it was still a poor show. recently I have been having around 5-6 pints and it has been totalling me, less than half a year ago this would have just got me started!

The question is, should I try and regain some of my manly prowess in the consumption of alcohol, or shall I stop drinking every so often so I remain lightweighted and can go out on just over a tenner?

*Edit* I realised that where i meant to put
"What I am against is this I wrote " I actually put "What I am not against is this".

I am a large supporter of allowing people to make their own decisions by informing them of the facts without bias. In some sectors, for instance animal rights, there is a huge amount of propaganda. This is a shame since it is a viable cause, however if you spend enough time researching you can usually find the truth of a situation.

What I am against is this.

A man-sized talking rabbit appeared on television in Gaza on Friday to denounce Danish newspapers over cartoons of the Prophet Mohammad that offended Muslims.

The latest in a line of cartoon-inspired characters that take the message of the Hamas Islamist movement to Palestinian children, the actor in the Bugs Bunny-style outfit also railed against "Zionist filth" and Israel's control of Jerusalem.

The Friday show "Tomorrow's Pioneers" on Hamas's al-Aqsa channel has become a weekend fixture for pre-teens since shortly before the Islamists seized control of the Gaza Strip last year.

A Mickey Mouse-type creation provoked outcry in Israel and was condemned elsewhere as inciting hatred among the young. The mouse, eventually shown being beaten to death by an Israeli, was followed by a talking bee and, now, by Assud the rabbit.

"I want the West to hear this. I want the Danes who offended the great Prophet to hear it," the rabbit said, gesturing to viewers after the show's co-presenter, a girl of about 12 named Sarra, condemned Danish newspapers for reprinting the cartoons after police accused several men of plotting to kill the artist.

"Where are you Muslims? Where are you Arabs?" said Sarra, wearing a headscarf and speaking with precocious eloquence.

"We are all a sacrifice for the Prophet. The soldiers of Tomorrow's Pioneers will redeem the Prophet with all they have."

Now at the ages these kids are being shown this program they are at their most susceptable, and yet their is a cartoon out there suggesting to children that they go out and kill people of other religions?

Can you imagines the uproar that would occur if a white cartoon was made suggesting the killing of Muslims?

I am very, very worried that they are allowing this to be shown, not only for the children being show this kind of material but for the countries who may suffer because of it.
Condoning this kind of hatred in a cartoon aimed at 5-14 year olds is beyond dispicable.

Office Event

Sometimes writing up events to entertain my literal ten of readers can be a bit of a chore, I do it more to keep some kind of regular readership up rather than out of any purpose or enjoyment.

Today however there was an incident at work that made my chuckle, more at social reaction than the event itself.

We were in the office, sat at our desks when a technician walked up and started talking to one of our coworkers. Midway through the conversation he farted. Thats right he let one rip right in the middle of the office.

The silence could not be cut with a diamond edged knife. Laughs and giggles were kept in by ruler straight tight lipped mouths.

The techy is carries on, unaware of his faux pas in the management environment. I am half hoping he belches the alphabet as well.

As soon as he steps out of the door laughter errupts.

Have I become a snob?

What ho jeeves that poor person is dieing on my street, remove him at once.

Valentines Day

Valentines Day can either be a fantastically romantic day or the day you feel like the worlds greatet social reject.

However you look at it though, valentines day is one of the most commercialy driven yet socially significant events in the westernised world. It reminds us all to take a step back and look at what is really important, or more significantly WHO is really important.

My valentines days have varied significantly over teh past, from lonely, to sex filled to romantic meals I have done the works. Though I do regret sometimes that no relationship I have been in has reached a two valentines day mark.

I think my strangest valentines day was a few years back, when I was 21. The girl I was seeing was only 17 at the time, slightly pervy but there you go. She got me a teddybear and a HUGE card. It was filled with sweet words and so on, but never the less I could not help but feel a little self concious that I was walking through Leeds looking like a mobile Hallmark vendor.

When I was at highschool I was seeing this girl frmo college, my boyish charms won her over I guess. I was 15, she was 17. I never mentioned my age, she thought I was around the same age as her I think.

We had only been going out for a couple of weeks, leaving me at the akward not knowing her, not wanting to get anything too big to make me look too eager and not wanting to get something too small to make her think im not bothered.

So I took her for a meal, single red rose in hand and then things started to go wrong. As we left the resteraunt she looked a little unhappy, as we progressed through the night she became more and more depressed. Finally the night ended with her slapping me and proclaiming me a cheat and a cheapskate.

I was fairly nonplussed by this, what the hell had I done?

The next day my maet asked me how the date had gone, a big grin on his face.

Suspicion ran through my mind faster than the japanese public transport system.

"why?"

I query

"Well I bumped into that girl you were seeing amte, thought I would suggest what kind of brilliant present you had undoubtedly bought her."

"What did you say!" I start forward, realising that this guy might have lost me a two year older girl, an astounding achievment at my age.

"I may have mentioned seeing you buy something gold and sparkly" he says, not getting much further as I start seeing red.

What would you do for a flying car?

Valentines Day

"Will you be working earlies on the 15th?"

I ask.

"I was thinking of taking the morning off ;)"

I hint, earlier last night I had suggested we go for a meal on the 14th you see, for a bit of valentines day speciality.

So I scroll down hastily as my boss returns to hsi desk and press send.

No!!!

I shout, as I realise I have just sent the text to my Dad.

Bollox, I though.

Extreme Chair Surfing

Office chair + rope + Car =

No Pants Day

Genius, what can I say?

I think going around in your underwear for a bit sounds fun, how weird would you find it if half the people around you were walking around in their boxers/knickers?

When I was a kid I was a bit of a smart arse at school, clever and yet cocky, but always a middleman. I always found it best to hang back and appraise a situation. There was however this one kid who would do something (though I cannot remember what) that would cause me to chase after him.

It was always 50/50 as to wether I caught him or not, if I didn't get him I would usually be found sprawled somewhere victim of a minor cardiac arrest. If I managed to grab him a short tussle would ensue, rresulting on him on the floor and me with several bite marks, the both of us with a telling off and slight festering of wounds would occur on my part.

Now I think back on it that little bastard technically won every time.

Two Week Road Trip to Four Party Capitals!

This summer me and my mates have decided to return to Europe where we will be visiting four capitals of culture and chaos.

We will be visiting Amsterdam, Berlin, Munich and Barcelona in that order to achieve a fortnight of pure entertainment around the continent.

Last years road trip as fantastic, but we tried to get just a little too much into 2 weeks.

So this year as we jump into a car and head to four cities renowned for both their historic past and beer filled present we will be staying in hostels, meeting fantastic new people and heading out with a clear aim of having a fucking great time.